Florida Trip Part Four: Golfing

Golfing was awesome! We went twice in Florida. I wish me and my dad would go more often. My brother on the other hand can make a wicked slap shot but is hopeless at golf. And I can’t slap shot. And my mom doesn’t want to learn.

Before I took lessons I liked par 3 courses because you don’t have to hit so far. But my dad likes the par fives. I tell my dad to let me enjoy the game and not worry that I’m not Tiger Woods before the affairs. But he does. Dammit Greg you’re lifting your head. Dammit Greg slow back swing. So I would do the slowest back swing. Okay too slow.

I took golfing lessons and wow did it help improve my swing and my game. I went to the driving range in Sarnia and was hitting plus 200 yards and straight. And I actually hit the ball catching machine. Sweet.

So in Florida I was pumped. We go to this 18 hole course with nobody there, probably because it was forecast. There weren’t people ahead or behind so we had all the time in the world. My dad never lets me drive the cart. He likes to go fast like it’s four wheeler buggy. So anyway I think I know my shit.

The first hole I hit it right into the pond. Dammit Greg I told you to go to the driving range. My next three holes were no better. I thought I was doing everything right. My dad suggests I back away from the pin slightly. And boom! I nailed it. After that it was like butter. Golfing is definitely more fun when you are good at it. I was getting pars and bogies left right and center.

However my dad doesn’t like me taking forever to hit. I do as many practice swings until I feel just right. Then I bend down and put the pin slightly deeper. And then I do as many practice swings until it feels just right. Then I make a gabbing divot and not repair it.

Normally I get pissed when I lose balls. Not anymore. I bought around thirty balls for three dollars at Good Will. But someone actually gave away driving range balls to Good Will too. So they must have stolen them or something. Who does that? So the balls were only ten cents each and I couldn’t give a shit or bother to look for one. My dad on the other hand buys two dollar balls. Why? I guess it makes his drive a few yards more. So yeah he takes forever looking for them.

Everyone knows about the gator scare by now. I still have nightmares that I’m at Twin Lakes and this Peter Pan alligator is coming at me and I’m thinking he’s going to eat my legs, he’s going to eat my legs. So no gators this time. However I was a little startled when a turtle was coming my way that I thought is was an alligator.

Now when I play, I play for each hole and not give s shit what my total score is. It just gets frustrating when you fuck up royally. I don’t count lost balls or ones in the water. What I hate is the gimme. If it was a gimme than you have a gimme and should just take two seconds to putt it in the hole. But no people get sloppy and just do the whole one hand putt that misses. I’ll admit I use mulligans all of the time if nobody is around. Some times I wish I could have a few mulligans in life.