The Legends of Zelda 2

I don’t know if other people can make comments or can only Lisa? If you do know how to comment than make a comment of how to do it and I will do it.

I kind of like some positive feedback. Nothing mean because I just can’t handle that criticism. But I would love to hear from others. You don’t have to know me than feel free to drop a line if you think my blogs are funny or interesting or you have a request for a new blog.

At first I wrote my webpage out of complete boredom and loneness. It was something productive to do instead of just sitting there vegging out and watching television all day. Don’t get me wrong I am the couch potato. But I felt a calling. I love making people laugh. There is nothing better than making a cute girl laugh. But not a fake laugh that ditzy girls do just to please a guy.

People have always found me weird and funny in person. For example I was the king of stone face or I made the best speeches.  Part of the problem about writing on the internet is that people don’t read how I intended them to read it and that’s a huge part of my humor.

Anyway my blogpage has become almost an obsession. I want as many people to read it. The funny part is that my Canadian fans found out about my page from me posting links on Facebook. However everyone else must have found about it from searching certain keywords such as Octum’s razor or just stumbled on it or found about from a friend American fans have visited my site over 600 times. Which is awesome. I also had people from Latvia check it out and I don’t know where the fuck that is.

So my number one fan Lisa loves Zelda and Zelda like games such as Dark Cloud. But not those traditional RPGs where you type what to do. They’re not her cup of Lipton green tea. So I just wrote a huge blog about Zelda and she wants more. It’s not easy as it seems but I can never refuse a fan. So I already wrote about the original Zelda, Zelda 2, Zelda Link to the Past and Zelda: Orcina of Time.

So that means I must write about Zelda Majora’s Mask, Zelda Links Awakening, Zelda Oracle of Ages, Zelda Oracle of Seasons, Zelda Minish Cap, Zelda the Wind Waker and Zelda Twilight Princess. Zelda Phantom Hourglass and Zelda Spirit Tracks (Editors note: I realize I didn’t have to keep writing Zelda but fuck it).

I never beaten Majora’s Mask but I hear its much harder than Orcina of Time. For one thing you have only three days to save Hyrule. It takes me at least two months to save Sarnia. Imagine how frustrating it would be if every three days you lose all of your money and items. Fuck that. On day two I going to go spend all my money on coke and hookers.

Zelda Links Awakening is an awesome Gameboy game. The problem is that you have only four buttons. So you use button A and B for items. And A is usually devoted to the sword. So it’s a bitch having to constantly change items when needed. Still I had fun beating it. I also have the two Zelda pairs Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons. I played it for an hour and never really got around to it. 

Zelda Minish Cap was cool too. It reminded of Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I loved that movie. But I think the wife would be a little more pissed off that her husband the dork shrunk the kids. Hi wife I may have accidentally shrunk and possible killed our children and the neighbors’ children. And she would be like what the fuck did you do! I want a divorce. I want a divorce! And I don’t think a remote control lawn mower is a good idea.

What would you do with a minish cap? That would be fun for a while. Imagine eating a giant Big Mac and Mc Flurry. Or you could get hammered by a table spoon of Molson Canadian. My 13 inch screen T.V. would be like an IMAX theatre.  I don’t know what you can shrink? Is it just your clothes or can you shrink anything you hold. Back to Zelda, I would be afraid of getting stepped on those squid creatures that spit out shit. And maybe I’m reading into this too much.

At first I didn’t like the whole cartoon style of the Wind Waker but it grew on me. I would love having a talking boat. Too bad the talking boat wouldn’t let me go wherever I wanted to go. Stupid talking boat. I’ll swim then. I love fishing and just sailing away. It reminds me of Florida. Too bad the pirates are complete pussies.

Phantom Hourglass for the DS kicked ass. My only qualm is that I find it annoying using the pen to move Link around. For one thing I’m left handed and my hand is covering part of the damn screen. I never got around to playing Spirit Tracks. Chou Chou!

I had Twilight but I lent my brother my Wii and then he let the neighbor’s kids it borrow some of the games and I never got them back. Well I got another Wii and I’m thinking of getting it. Again. My question is did Zelda Twilight Princess come out before or after the Twilight series. I mean they are both called Twilight and the characters turn into wolves. But for a chick flick it kicked ass and the chick is so hot. However I already know that I’m getting the Skyward Sword and I will rather play it first. For one thing I bought it with my dad so there is not surprise really when I open it. But I will be ecstatic. Screw spending time with your friends and family I’m playing Zelda!