New Years Resolution: Not to Be an Idiot

New Years is fast approaching and I am excited. Hmm, actually I’m not. It seems that parties and get togethers are becoming smaller and smaller. And I have everyday off and I drink all of the time anyway. So it’s not much different than my everyday life except when I’m watching Golden Girls I don’t feel as lonely as when I’m watching the ball drop and having nobody to kiss. Or even a pity kiss.

My parents are having a party at our place and I think I might just stick around and get drunk with them. Or I might hang out with my brother and his friends and get wasted. But if anyone is having a party and need some weed I’m your man.

Back in high school you would have a million friends and would go to awesome parties. One of my favorite ones were at Steve’s place and I did some shrooms and had an awesome time. No paranoia; I didn’t freak out or try to drive home. I was laughing at things that weren’t the least funny. Such as a clock. One memory at the party is when Sticks got too drunk too fast. Hilarious. We were doing all sorts of stupid things to him and he couldn’t do anything about it. Out of a moment of clarity he asks me to help him. Haha. I was too busy looking at the turtle. He looks like a koopa troopa. And look he went back into his shell. Priceless.

So what is your resolution? I think I ran out of things I need to change because I’m perfect. Haha. Like most people I fuck up my resolution in early January such as not to litter. I broke that up by throwing a pop bottle in someone’s bushes because my hands were cold and I didn’t want to carry it back home. Or I spit gum on the ground because I’m not swallowing that shite. Who knows where it goes. I never smoked but I think I gave that up.  One was to be nice to people. Which I am. However you can’t be nice if someone calls you a fag. Why thank you for calling him a homo, I’m not gay but thanks for the complement buddy.

What ever happened to me? I use to be smart in elementary school but slowly and surly I lost my intelligence in high school. People blame it on the weed or the booze but this was before I tried either. This year my resolution is to not me dumb or not to so dumberer. First I need to stop asking so many damn questions. Especially questions I should already know like how do they get the caramel in the caramilk bar? Sometimes I say something or anything during a pause when talking to people just for the sake of talking. I tell uninteresting stories or too many stories about getting baked or even this blog for instance. Also I should stop smoking so much weed because that can’t help either. I should stop screwing up jokes like the whole “wait one second story”.  Sticks says it way better than I do. I should stop saying umm or ah some many damn times. I should think what I want to say before I say it instead of saying umm or ah. Or I should just stop talking.