Merry Present Day

Now with my $50 allowance I can afford to buy any toy I want. However I find it funner (my mom: more fun) to wait till Christmas to receive gifts. I like to look forward to Christmas this way. Otherwise it’s hockey tape and socks for this guy. I always wonder if some naughty child actually gets coal. That would be hilarious!

Anyway I have been good this year. I open doors for old people, I entertain people with this blog page and I vacuum the basement. Twice. I always wondered when the deadline for making the list. The elves need a long time to make the toys right? So Santa must figure out who is good and who is naughty long before Christmas.  

I was also curious what would happen if Santa lost his list. The elf operator would be: so Santa you lost your list? Don’t worry we saved it on your laptop. Wait, um it crashed. I think some horny elf got a virus downloading hot elf porn. God dammit. So Santa what the fuck are you going to do now?

I am looking forward to opening presents. I mentioned this before but I want the new Zelda game, the New Mario game, a shotgun game for the Wii, Simpson trivial pursuit and some gift certificates. But my dad has no clue about video games so I ended up buying them with my dad. So really it’s no surprise. A surprise would be the new 3DS or a chop shop.

I still remember a couple of outstanding gifts that I received as a kid. The time we got the new VCR was awesome. Now we could rent movies and watch them in the basement. So long Betamax. Year later I still have a VCR and purchased over 100 VHS tapes for real cheap. Both my dad and brother get pissed off when I buy more. Honestly I can’t even tell the difference between blue ray and VHS and you can watch movies that you can’t download or rent any longer.

A Christmas tradition is getting Don Cherry’s Rockem Sockem. I think we have up to a dozen of them. I like watching them before hockey to get me pumped up. And the fights kicked ass.

When we were small my dad got us goalie pads for road hockey. And these were adult goalie pads and I was small. They came up to my chest and I could hardly move. But they kicked ass! They weren’t those shitty rubber pads. The next year we got a goalie glove, blocker and goalie stick. I miss road hockey and mini sticks.

And who could forget the guitar. First off we paid over $300 for the guitar, amp, stand, bag, tester thingy and some picks. When we could have just gone to the pawn shop. I thought I would live my dream and become a rock star. Well that dream died and now we have a guitar missing one string just sitting there in my basement. I think I should have asked for a triangle and spend the money on Big Macs.