Murder

Homicide in Sarnia

I can’t believe it, but there was a murder a couple houses down from mine. That hits close to home indeed. The funny thing is that we don’t live in the ghetto and we don’t have guns. Nobody has released any information yet, but there are lot theories. As far as I can tell some guy killed his ex-wife because she was seeing another man.

Apparently he killed her around 4am. So the whole household was taped off and there were thousands of cops and a forensic trailer. Now Sarnia isn’t the biggest city. I don’t know if we have a homicide team or people came in from out of town. “We have the glove. I think...” “Look Murdock, I’m the fucking O.P. and I have jurisdiction. I want finger prints! Stat!”

Well our whole neighborhood was watching it unfold and there were a lot of speculation.  Even the murder she wrote lady Angela Lansbury came to investigate. She threw away the type writer for an Ipad on got onto the case of Murder at 4:00am Sarnia.

There were a few other homicides I have heard of. Also in Sarnia, there was this boxer that stabbed his ex girlfriend like literally forty times. I guess he pulled an O.J. I have heard afterwards he was going to drive into incoming traffic. Fuck you, don’t kill any more innocent people. But I bet being a crazy boxer I’m sure he will fit right in.

And in Florida a couple of trailers down from my uncle’s place, some old dude killed his wife and buried her underneath his trailer. That’s all I know. You would think that he would be accused of murder but I guess they didn’t have enough to convict him. But don’t worry people eventually could smell the rotting corpse and bam he’s going to spend the rest of his short life in prison. I would hide and burry a corpse in a million other better places than under your own trailer.

Back to crazy jealousy man, I have heard they are still searching for this alleged backpack and possibly the murder weapon inside it. Our garbage men wouldn’t even collect our garbage because the killer might have thrown into one of ours. If I would kill someone the first thing I would do is get on a plane to Mexico.

How crazy do you have to be to murder someone? I guess it’s like in the heat of the moment because who actually thinks they can get away with it? Even if you are found innocent people know you did it. “Hey neighbors. What a terrific day.” “It certainly is Mr. I killed my wife.”

Criminals never really predict how horrible prison would be like. All you do is sit in a cell, work out, eat shitty food, get raped and spend your time regretting your crime and waiting till you get released or die in a fucking jail. Unless you do a daring escape though the laundry and under the prison walls like I did.

I’m not a superstitious person, but who would want to live in a house where someone was murdered? “Well these are the chandeliers. Aren’t they pretty? This is the kitchen; it opens up to the family room. Very spacious. Look there are four bedrooms and two bathrooms. And this family room where a lady was brutally murdered. We decided to get new carpet. And look outside at the pool.”