Tony Danza Bonanza
Tony Danza is a former boxer who kicked some ass. He is of course an Italian from Brooklyn so you know he’s one tough mother fucker. And a huge hunk. Wait did I just say that? I’m not gay but if I was you know I’d be all over him. I mean he has a great smile and he is funny…
Taxi. Taxi, taxi over here. Taxi! Damn you taxi! After his career as a boxer ended he starred as Tony Banta in a very successful sitcom called Taxi. I guess they had to call him Tony Banta because he would get confused with the names. And he played a boxer. I guess he wasn’t talented enough to act as anyone else.
As I mentioned Taxi was great sitcom in the late 70s and early 80s. It was the jump start for many actors. Andy Kaufman is famous for his unusual standup characters and played the foreign guy. Then he died. But the movie Man on the Moon was great.
Danny DeVito is the dispatcher that still lives with his mom. Haha. Loser! If you don’t know Danny DeVito, he played himself as the Penguin from Batman and other movies where they need a hideous actor. “Look Penguin, we are making a real life Hunchback of the Notre Dame and we want a freak. Danny, can you be that freak?
Christopher Lloyd is the total druggy burnout. But wait, if you seen Back to the Future then you know he is actually in 1885 and couldn’t possibly be in the 70s. Unless he got tired of the Wild West, dumped his bitch and gone back to the future. Again
I think a cab driver would be loads of fun. You drive all around town listening to music and talking to interesting people. However I do find it difficult seeing addresses at night and still don’t know my way around town, even with a map or GPS. I do know that taxi drivers want to get to your destination as soon as possible so people have more money for tips. Dane Cook was funny when he said something like you know you’re drunk when you think the fare is the time.
Who’s the Boss is a classic 80’s sitcom. As you are well aware, or as should you be aware, Tony is the housekeeper of some workaholic Angel Bauer. So the man is the maid and the woman is has the career. Thus the show is called Who’s the Boss. Oh just imagine the craziness. What kind of job is that really?
So Tony, who should be called the butler, cooks, cleans the dishes, dusts and mops the floor. Housewives around the world rejoice and men around the world laugh. He was an ex ball player that must have lost all of his money. I don’t know why he became broke, maybe it was heroine. I wonder how payday goes. “Tony, you’ve done an excellent job scrubbing the toilet; I’m giving you a raise. How does fifteen more cents sound?”
Angela is the workaholic too busy to clean the house or even be a parent. I forget where she works. Maybe House and Home Magazine. I just hope she at least took fraternity leave for a few years so she could be a good mother to her child. So I’m thinking why hire a man? Why, because he’s fucking Tony Danza. What a power trip that would be having a man bake, vacuum and pleasure you. I just find her unattractive, maybe it was the 80s’ hair maybe it was the big nose. She needs to get laid.
Alyssa Milano is the super hot daughter of Tony. She has been in tons of movies and television shows but I can only recall her as the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Commando. Schwarz is one man army out to rescue his daughter from some random drug cartel. Schwarz just plows through like a hundred men without any backup or military support. The next day her character gets hit by a bus. I think Alyssa is confused and needs a real male influence in her life and not a male nanny.
Mona is the total hoar. I mean her name is mona; she likes to moan. I didn’t know what sex was back then but now that I do I feel like throwing up. Old people and ugly people should not have the right to have sex. I’m kidding.
Does she go to the retirement home to pick up old men or is she a cougar at the bar out for young blood. How about a lesbian? I think it’s a bit disturbing when Mona brings random old men home to fuck her and the kid is just listening to all of that gross shit in the next room. They later sent her to old people’s home because she had Alzheimer’s and kept asking where her husband is. And she doesn’t recognize her own grandson. And I don’t either. I remember nothing interesting about the son or even his name.
I don’t recall any episodes of Angela bringing men home, maybe because nobody wants her. Imagine Angela comes home all drunk and calls Tony a fairy and he just loses it on her. He would slap her in the face and punch her stomach and say who’s the boss now bitch?!
What I do remember is a famous episode where Tony is going to the shower and sees Angela naked. I wish I could have seen all of that. So yeah Tony is like well do you want to see me naked? It could have been a lot worse. It could have been Mona. My question is does the drapes match the carpet.
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