I realized I write a lot about religion and pot. And I might write another religious blog about Armageddon and the end of the world. As you all know my favorite drug is weed. It’s all you need really need aside from having a couple of beers with your friends. I think it should be legalized, I mean what’s the worst that could happen? Whats this kids are laughing and eating cookie doe? We should end this madness at once!
I often hear how people get paranoid when they smoke weed. I actually love it; I have never had a bad time smoking too much weed unless I was drinking at the same time. I was talking to this one guy who hates the paranoia when he smokes weed but he does special K. I don’t even know what the fuck special K is.
I never smoked cigarettes in my life. My brother warned me about it, even though I probably would never try anyway. I wonder why people try it in the first place now knowing all of the ill health effects and addiction. I guess it gets down to peer pressure.
My first drug I tried was oil. It was a strange feeling and awesome; I felt so mellowed out. If you don’t know what oil or hash oil is it’s a all of the marijuana plant byproducts such as resin, leaves, seeds and stems that is melted down to this oily goo which you store in a small capsule. And then you do bottle tokes or what you call BTs. Don’t get it mixed up with BLTs, which are also awesome. What you do is find a plastic bottle and light a cigarette and burn a small hole in the bottle. Then you use a pin and dip a drop of oil on the cigarette and let the cigarette burn inside the bottle. Then you open the lid and take a toke of all the smoke. It’s very cheap but who knows what else the put in there, it could have hairspray in it for all you know.
I tried ecstasy for New Years 2000 because it was New Years 2000. It was off the hook. I spent the majority of time just tripping on the couch watching music videos. I got the best massage ever and I got kissed by two hot chicks for the ball drop. But I don’t think I’d ever do it again. I tried cocaine a couple of times and I don’t know what the fuss is. So I get hyper and talkative. Big deal. I do drink buckets of coffee and energy drinks all of the time though. And I had pain killers when I broke my leg.
But today I am talking about magic mushrooms and how crazy they are. If you don’t believe that fact is stranger than fiction than you have never heard of mushrooms. When I first heard about them and all of the crazy effects and hallucinations I just had to try them. I become obsessed. But it also fucks with your mind.
The first time I tried a gram and watched Heavy Metal and Heavy Metal 2000 with my brother and his friend. They were the best movies I have ever seen. At least at the time. We were giggling like crazy. It was a weird felling but I didn’t really notice any hallucinations.
One of the best times I had was on Canada Day at a huge house party. I took two grams and wow it was fucking awesome. They started kicking in when we driving home from the fireworks in my buddy’s truck. I was holding on for dear life. So I had to go to the bathroom and wow was I hallucinating. I spent like a half hour looking at the tiles and they were moving around a shit. If you seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
So my family was out of town and I decided to try three grams of some good shit. Big mistake. I walked to the variety store and I felt like I was in a giant snow globe. The trees looked like they were alive. So I’m having a good time and all of the sudden it hits me and I start to panic. I thought “oh no I took too much. I took too much.” So I get home and try to relax. “Okay Greg just watch Austin Powers. Calm down and enjoy it.” But nobody was there to help me and I’m freaking out like crazy. I can’t begin to describe the madness. I recall bits and pieces. I was looking at my feet like I was a monkey. Then I felt like I was hypnotized snake. And I saw these rainbow tunnels. I recall almost calling 911. It seemed like an eternity but I finally came to and I actually felt fine. The house was a disaster though; who knows what really happened.
In my first year of university I bough an ounce of some kick ass shrooms. It ended up being about four dollars for a gram and I was selling it for ten bucks a gram. I was the go to guy for weed and shrooms at my residence.
So me and this other guy ate some shrooms and hit the club with the rest of our floor. They started kicking in as we arrived. I gave my coat to some random chick that I thought was the coat check master. So I decide to walk home and I felt like I was in Super Mario 3. Everything seemed so like a dream and object were floating. I get back to residence and the halls were breathing in and out. I spent hours just laughing in the hall and spilling my guts to all of the girls. Good times. My friend apparently spent the night on a bus and wanted to do some more again.
And the worst time I ever had on shrooms, or worst time ever in my life, was at a shroom party. I wanted to have a good time and tried two grams. And I was having a great time. I remember just grabbing a handful of instant coffee and eating it. They thought it was hilarious. But all of sudden I got so paranoid that everyone w making fun of me. Well the guys behind were saying how funny I was. I thought they were calling me names and shit and I freak out. I get up and punch this one guy in the face and tried to drive home.
Big mistake. I was tripping out like crazy and thought the radio was making fun of me. So I’m on the highway driving home and I want to go back and fight them. So I make a u turn and get lost. I end up sliding into a dead end and smashed my bumper. It was Hell. So I ditch the shrooms and just waited there. The cops come by and they gave me a breathalyzer. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol and said I only smoked some weed. So I go to the police station where I waited for my parents. What a horrible feeling. I think the officer felt sorry for me and I didn’t get charged or lose any points. In hindsight I think things could have turned out much much worse.
So here’s my advice. Buy in bulk and sample just a little. Be careful where you get them, after all they are a poison and you don’t want the wrong type. My dealer gets the shrooms from B.C. There’s nothing wrong with not taking enough, nothing bad can happen. So for the first time try a gram. If nothing happens within an hour try a half gram. But every time I try some I still get scared. By the way shrooms are grown on cow shit and you should put them in a bun and eat it.
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