There are so many stupid smart people in the world. For example I’m at the Casino a while back and I was playing roulette. The guy beside is probably a little smarter than me. But dipshit had a sheet, which the casino hands out for free, so you can mark what numbers are picked and what numbers are not picked. It’s like people think if it has been black twenty times in a row it’s just has to be red the next time. Idiots. If that was true we would all be millionaires. But this is not a magical roulette table, it’s random each time.
My point is that there are scientists who in many ways of intelligence are smart but yet stupid in other ways. I tried psychology but I couldn’t cut it the third year. So you would assume these psychologists are smarter than me. However I can see through all this bullshit. There are scientists who conduct useless experiments all the time and that have no application to the real world.
Like I heard of experiments of whether white people are more intelligent than black people. What is the point of this other than pissing off black people? I think they fucked up the results because I guarantee black people are just as intelligent and that they didn’t control all of the variables. Not to be an asshole but maybe it’s because many black people live in lower class residents and don’t get the same quality of education as richer folk. Try doing something productive like creating everlasting bubble gum and save yourself all of this time and energy.
So what really pisses me off is when they conduct these studies that show doing such and such will add five years to your life. It just does not work that way. First off there are a million variables that you can’t possibly control. And to see if something adds so many years you would have to do a case study from their birth all the way up to their death. There is no way anyone could do this. I definitely think they altered their results. And most important; you can’t just stack each thing that adds so many years to your life. Or else people would live like two hundred years.
Here are some things from different sources that add so many years:
Daily flossing adds 6.5 years. I don’t floss though.
Regular jogging adds five years. I hope so.
Coffee adds years. Check.
Sitting down can add two years. I don’t understand this but I sit down a lot.
Having a positive attitude can add up to seven years. Haha bullshit.
Sex adds years. That’s why porn stars live long
Owning a pet dog can add years. How about a hamster?
Fatherhood adds years. I never really knew my father.
Yoga adds years. Screw that.
Exercising 15 minutes a day can add up. I agree.
And so on.
Healthy eating is a big one that adds years. I think it’s true but my major problem is that different sources have different results. They might say that eating nuts adds two years, while another source might say eating fish adds two years, and yet another source might say eating apples adds two years. Do you see my problem? They could say like twenty types of food each add two years and you end up living twenty years longer than a guy like me that eats so many Big Macs and microwave dinners.
Paraphrasing: [Here is a study that found men pedaling at an average pace lived 2.9 years longer. Among women, fast cyclists lived 3.9 years and average speed cyclists 2.2 years longer than those in the slow lane.] I’m very interested in how they found these results. Did they go to the funeral and ask the widow if he biked a lot. “Lets see your husband died at age 70, hmm interesting. Was he a fast bike rider?” “Yes he was.” And then did they go to another funeral and ask the same question? “He hardly biked and lived to age 67. My God, biking adds three years to your life! Get the president immediately!” There are a billion of other variables like is his wife a harpy, did he play frisbee golf or did he have aids.
Here are my own things that add five years:
Smoking pot relaxes you.
If a cup of whine is good for your health than three will be three times as good.
Drinking coffee to perk you up for your day. I suggest strong.
Daily video games to exercises the mind.
Watching Much Music regularly just adds those years.
Vitamin pills; who needs vegetables?
And masturbating to Golden Girls is healthy. There’s nothing wrong with that.
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