I’m In the Money!

Lying To My Mom

Here is a stupid story a few days ago about damage control. It’s not really any good but I have already written it. So suck it. I have made blogs about poker and lying but if you’re bored than take a gander at this story about lying about playing poker. Here it is goes.

First off for those who don’t know, I live in my parent’s basement and I get $50 allowance. That’s right I get $50 a week.  I spend most of it on beer, fast food, video games and movies. I used to play in a free poker league that you can win prizes and just hangout. After that league we would party at my friends place and play some Texas holdem with 20-40 cent blinds. I always made money because some people are stupid; they go fishing and don’t know the odds. Tons of fun but I play hockey now instead.

So I ask my mom if I can have money to play at the casino two weeks ago. She said only $30 and that’s it. I was up at $50 but lost it all. But I thought I knew the secret on how to play. So I went again without her permission and I made almost $200 from a initial $50. I was so excited and I treated myself on shopping and pizza. I told her look at all of this money I made and she was still pissed off. So I went again while they were out and I made $80 on one hand.

Now I’m thinking I’m a pro but my parents would be pissed off and take away my allowance if I ever went again. So I told my parents I’m going on a long bike ride. Which is true. I rode my bike to the casino. The hot guard actually asked for my I.D. I’m flattered but I look much younger with my hat on backwards. Remember this.

I was kicking ass but I lost two crucial pots. I had about a $100 and went all in. I had an ace with a ten kicker and then on the turn I hit triple aces. I’m shaking here and drooling at this pot; I thought I knew I had it for sure. I was thinking of all of the wonderful things I could buy. He calls. I’m being so cocky and I was like I have trip aces. He had the other ace and a jack kicker. And I was stunned; I mean what are the odds of that?

Soon I was running out of chips and was preparing for an all in moment. Now I knew this one guy bluffs all of the time. I get a big slick, which is a suited ace-king, and called all in. Well he shows his pair of fives and I’m praying for an ace or king. Nope.

So now I’m down $20 and it was getting dark. I was there for like five hours and decide to go. I realize how late it was for a bike ride and I had to come up with an alibi. I told my mom I stopped at my friend’s place for a bit and ate out. Being a natural bluffer from my experience of playing poker; my mom bought that story.

So later on me and my mom were watching a show on aging. I was thinking about the guard that asked me for my I.D. I told my mom the security guard actually asked for my driver’s license. Right away I realize I fucked up. Damage control. So I said “I mean the bouncer asked for my I.D. at uh Two Amigos. Yes the bouncer.” Lie accomplished.

She was stilled pissed off because it was dark and I should not be drinking beer on a Monday. My dad asked how many beers I had and told me I was supposed to only use the trail. I told him I had a beer, nachos and wings. And then five minutes later I asked if there was anything to eat. My dad then said didn’t you already have enough to eat. But dad I’m a growing boy and I’m still hungry.