Duck Tales

As a kid I loved cartoons. And still do. I much rather see them hand drawn instead of this whole computer animation movement. How stupid would South Park be if it was computer generated? Some of my favourites cartoons were Duck Tales, Smurfs, Gummy Bears, G.I.Joes, Looney Toons. I’m going to write something about each.

Duck Tales were awesome. I love how they go on these adventures. It’s much like Tomb Raider but only good and a cartoon. My favorites are the pilot and the one where they go on that odyssey quest.

What was with their names? Take Scrooge, I think he first appeared in the whole Disney Christmas Carroll, as of course Scrooge McDuck. And Donald the retard named the triples Dewey, Heuy and Lewis and the news. So they all wear different colored cloths so people could tell them apart. I bet they get made fun every day at school. It’s almost as bad as calling them Moses or Apple.

So where is the deadbeat dad Donald in all of this. I guess it’s kind of like I Am Sam. He was too retarded, mumbling and incoherent to raise them. And the mom duck must have been some hooker duck that didn’t have enough for duck abortion. Poor hooker duck I guess that would hurt. Wait, ducks lay eggs. This doesn’t add up. I’m pretty sure the triplets would rather live with their rich and exciting uncle.

I’m pretty sure Scrooge is Jewish duck. He’s a lot like Scar Face, always paranoid about his money. He should get ADT and some guard ducks to patrol his property. How come he doesn’t break his neck when dives and swims around a fucking pile of gold coins? Piles of $100 bills would have been much more realistic. Why doesn’t he spend it while he was he is still alive. Imagine he lost all of his fortune to Enron? I bet he would dive into his empty vault.

Some other funny characters were Launch Pad, Gizmo Duck and the Beagles. Launch Pad of course was the retarded drunk pilot that keeps cheating death when he crashes. I mean is Scrooge too cheap to get a decent pilot that doesn’t destroy his helicopter every time they have to fly somewhere. The insurance agency wouldn’t even cover him. Gizmo duck is the cartoon equivalent of Robo Cop. I love Red. Like almost of all of the characters is he’s a bubbling retard. But not so bad as Jar Jar the Fuct. And of course the Beagles who always fail to rob Scrooge. I like the episode where they rob a bank, take hostages and execute one of them in the head every 20 minutes until they get a billion dollars and safe passage to the Swiss.