Ghost

Now I’m a very gullible and paranoid person. I’m always exited about winning cruses in the mail or thinking everyone is against me. But whoever believes in ghost is crazy. Think about the physics. What kind of molecules are they made of. It makes no sense. Are we to believe ghosts are outside the laws of physics? Or are they made of exmoplasitic matter. I mean scientist have located DNA strands but have yet to find any concrete evidence of ghost.

Why wouldn’t a ghost go straight to white house and do a press conference. Okay, I am Abraham Lincoln the ghost and uh we are real. It’s been a running joke of us ghosts to fuck with individual people. Making noises, stairs creaking and shutting windows to make otherwise rational people go crazy. But Bill the ghost fucked up our secrecy by appearing at a Tina Turner concert in front of millions and got caught in a net. Thanks buzz kill Bill.

How can you possibly believe in religion and in ghosts? Did the ghost not make to Heaven or Hell? Why would God send down these trapped souls to haunt their duplex they group up in? Honey, our duplex is haunted. Every time I try to watch television and try to catch the few remaining Oprah shows this gay porn turns on. People say that they have something important to complete so they can finally rest. Like the ghost who needs to beat Zelda 2 Links Adventure before he can reach heaven.

What would you do if you were a ghost? First I’d fly around a bit and scare people I hate or celebrities. Then I would appear before Stickley and tell him to go to the Dagobah System to speak with Yoda. Then I would haunt Aaron’s mansion and keep stealing his spoons. Finally I would play Call of Duty with Irving.