Halloween

Trick Or Treaty

I love Halloween because I love candy! Especially free candy. As a kid I was hardcore, I actually had a route that I planed weeks ahead of time. I planned which neighborhoods to hit and when. For example you hit the most popular and dense areas first before they run out of candy and then hit the richer houses last. They usually have way too much candy left and give quite a treat.

When my friends are all tucked out I hit the same houses again. I liked to start early around five when all of the little kids start. I preferred to go with only one or two friends because I was quicker on feet. I was actually pissed off one year because everyone was messing around and having a good time and not moving fast enough. I was like come on guys stop messing around! Do you want candy or don’t you? I would also run to each door so the candy giver would be ready for my slow moving friends. And I used pillow cases; they are big, light and won’t rip. My dad would also meet us at a check point to store our bags and give us new pillow cases.

What I really hate were cans of pop. I can get pop anytime I want and it’s too damn heavy to carry around. I usually jettison them and watch it explode. I rather have raisons. And who could forget about UNICEF. It just takes a while to wait for someone to grab some change. I think I kept it one year because I was needy.

And what’s the deal with people leaving the candy by the door and having a sign asking just take one. I hate to be a cynical but I guarantee kids aren’t going to take that advice. Whats worse is those people who are too cheap or lazy to hand out candy. Bastards! These are the homes you throw eggs at.

At the end of the day my brother and I would get down to business and makes some trades. We would empty our candy on the floor and compare our treasure. I know my brother likes chips and I like suckers; a fair trade. But some of our deals got complicated. I’ll trade my Wonder bar for your Mr. Big if you give me three liquorish and some nerds for half that Kit Kat and five of mine life savers and those nuts you don’t even like. And I know you have your eyes set on my giant size Twix.

 

I love dressing up. When I was little my mom picked out our costumes, such as cheetahs, soldiers and pirates. My brother got the hat, the hook and the sword and I was left with the gun and the eye patch. Arrrgg I took me eye patch off right away. Arrgg trick or treat. Arrgg you want me to do a trick? No trick arrg candy now. Aarrg fine I’ll kick you in the nuts. Arrgg pop? Arrgg.

I’m a huge Zelda fan and thought I would be Link one year. I wore green clothes and a green hat my mom made and I wield the Master Sword, which was really just a little plastic toy. So I am Link but every one thought I was goddamn Peter Pan. And my mom made me wear a coat over my costume.

As I got older I would make my own costumes. I was searching the closet for old clothes our costumes my parents wore. My mom dressed up as an Asian person with those Asian hats. And right off the bat I became Raiden for Mortal Kombat. I used the same hat again for another costume as a Vietnam sweat shop person and wore Nike clothes.

My dad was a Middle Eastern person with authentic clothing and a big nose. And again as soon as I saw it I thought I had to be a suicide bomber. Now calm down! Calm down. Calm down. This was like over fifteen years ago when it was only Palestine’s and Islam’s blowing each other up. I had to be the funniest and realistic costume ever. So I wore the robes, beard and dynamite. I made the dynamite out of these red golf club tubes, wires and black tape.

People loved it but nobody even took a picture for the year book and my moms photos got messed up too while developing them. There were these stupid and lame costumes like some dude dressing up as a chick that ended up in the year book. Ha-ha, a guy dressed as chick, what an original idea because he’s a guy wearing a wig and dress. Ha-ha. It was a total popularity contest because the makers of the year book only took pictures of their friends.

Now most people don’t know who Mel Far Superstar is. He was an ex football player turned car salesman from Detroit that wore a yellow business suite, a red tie and a red cape. So I found a yellow suite and again it clicked and I knew I had to be Mel Far. Too bad I’m not black but I am dark. So I actually found a red sheet as the cape and red tie. Some people loved it; some people had no idea what I was until I told them I was Mel Far. And they were like ooh Mel Far, awesome!

So we held the contest in the cafeteria with all of the best costumes for each class. I thought I deserved it, but no some idiot won. His costume was, get this, the greatest masturbator. That’s right the greatest masturbator because he masturbates a lot. He wore fishing equipment and sex toys and shit. If you just saw him you would have no fucking clue what he was. It’s not like hmm fisherman uh bait, dildos or oh he’s the greatest masturbator. Ingenious! First prize! Again it was all a popularity contest.

I love South Park; I got the idea of dressing up as Kenny. So I went to Value Village and bought an orange hoody and an orange pants and brown gloves. I also dressed up as an alcoholic with my beer helmet and Coors light t-shirt. I dressed up as my professor because he dressed this certain style. For those who had him as a professor loved it. And I also was Freddy Krueger with the claws and used an inside out mask to look like a burn victim. A mask that I took off in five minutes because I couldn’t see out of it or breath.

And Halloween is a chance for girls to wear slutty clothing. Not to be sexist but girls don’t normally wear clever costumes. Most of them are a devil, an angel or a cat. Meow. Still really, really hot though.

I have seen a lot of good costumes too. One of my roommates dressed as a smurf with only the clothes he had in his room. I’ve seen a couple of guys dressed as the Trail Park Boys. I’ve seen a guy dressed up as Boba Fett. It was sweet, I’d wear it everyday. I’m thinking of wearing my mom’s fake fur coat, buying a cane and becoming a pimp. I know it’s been done before but it’s a sweet coat.

There a lot lame costumes too. Like the pirate, the inmate and the bum. You might as well just wear your uniform and dress as yourself. What really scare me are clowns. Yikes! Seriously they do not make me laugh at all. They give me nightmares. I’m just like Kramer. And some chick knocked on my door at ten with no costume. I couldn’t give a shit and let her have a Twix.

My mom actually made this realistic witch, which took hours to make. It was so scary that little kids wouldn’t go near our house. It was awesome; we had it since I was little. For years people have always loved it. And then one year punk teenagers trashed it. Thanks assholes. I hope you get a cheap thrill for vandalizing property. I wish I could have caught them. Hey dudes I’m dressed up as the guy who’s going to kick your ass. Hmm, no I probably would have said hey and run back inside.

Now I’m an adult and I think I’m just a little too old for trick or treating. However I can go to Zellers on all saints day and buy those boxes of 100 assorted chocolate bars when they are on sale. This is awesome when you have the munchies. Hmm Oh Henry. But one’s never enough, you want more and more until you’re out and then head back to Zellers for more. And then you get terrible teeth decay and horrible acne like me.

Top Ten Annoying Animals

1. Sharks

Sharks are fucking cool. I have caught a small blue eyed shark deep sea fishing. It’s the part where the eat people that annoys me. That’s one of the reasons why I will never swim in the ocean. I live by the Great Lakes, which is freshwater, and I have nothing to worry about. “Everyone out of the water, someone has spotted a large mouth bass!”

2. Skunks

I always wondered how the skunk evolved and ended up being so smelly they can scare off anything. Are they naturally smelly and can they spray each other? I did run into one near downtown London, Ontario. I froze and then slowly backed off and I made a two km detour. I’ve heard tomato juice helps if you are sprayed. I wonder who tried tomato juice for the first time. “Okay mustard and relish won’t work. How about ketchup?”

3. Seagulls

Seagulls are annoying; they are like French fry vultures. Ha-ha I mean freedom fry vultures. You can’t even leave your freedom fries alone for one second. And little kids keep feeding them. By the way I have never seen a baby seagull or one of their nests. You would think they have high blood pressure from all of that salt and vinegar. I don’t know if this is a myth or not but I have heard if you feed them Alka-Seltzer their stomachs will explode.

4. Alligators

Alligators scare the shit out of me. I’ve told everyone about my terrifying encounter of the alligator at the golf course too many damn times. But my uncle told me a story where a guy he knows was playing fetch with his dog by the pond.  He claimed there were no alligators. He was wrong. Doggone wrong. Also, I can’t believe the crocodile hunter was killed by a sea ray of all things.

5. Carp

There is a certain carp species that are known as flying fish because they jump like crazy. Well they have somehow penetrated the Great Lakes; possibly by a ship. They are invasive and are eating all of the damn plants and natural wildlife. Now I would never eat carp although Asian people love it. However I did try catfish. Eww. I say we kill them all off… by any means possible.

6. Ostriches

Ostriches are one of the ugliest birds. I saw one at the animal farm. I don’t even know what they are good for. They look stupid and visitors can’t feed or pet them. I actually tried to feed it a stick and bit it right off. I guess I should have trusted the sign. However I do remember riding them in Super Mario 2. They are one of the birds I that I wish would just go extinct.

7. Crows

Crows just sound annoying. Caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw caw. They will eat almost anything. Including man. Ha-ha I don’t know but I hear they will eat other birds. A group of crows is called a murder. That is pretty badass. There are a variety of crows and I wonder how bird watchers mark down birds they see on their bird list. “I saw a black crow! I just started and I have already seen five birds! Next stop the freedom fry truck. There must be seagulls there.”

8. Pigs

Okay baby potbelly pigs are cute and all. But when you call some chick a pig, you don’t mean she’s cute. “Hey piggy.” “What did you call me?” “I said you’re cute as a potbelly pig.” “Oh you.” Pigs are pigs and they get older, fatter and uglier. Kind of like Brittney Spears. I don’t know why anyone would want a pet pig unless you’re going to roast it. You can’t really pet them, they don’t do any real tricks and they like rolling in the mud. But I hear they are intelligent. In fact I’m thinking of some Canadian bacon right now.

9. Geese

Canadian geese are the most annoying animals alive. They besmirch my nation’s good name. I don’t know why they are protected; they have no natural predators except maybe hunters. All they do is graze and shit green shit everywhere. And I mean everywhere. They sound irritating and they don’t move out of the damn way. I wonder where they go in the winter and why they just don’t stay there.

10. Man

People can be so annoying.

I’m In the Money!

Lying To My Mom

Here is a stupid story a few days ago about damage control. It’s not really any good but I have already written it. So suck it. I have made blogs about poker and lying but if you’re bored than take a gander at this story about lying about playing poker. Here it is goes.

First off for those who don’t know, I live in my parent’s basement and I get $50 allowance. That’s right I get $50 a week.  I spend most of it on beer, fast food, video games and movies. I used to play in a free poker league that you can win prizes and just hangout. After that league we would party at my friends place and play some Texas holdem with 20-40 cent blinds. I always made money because some people are stupid; they go fishing and don’t know the odds. Tons of fun but I play hockey now instead.

So I ask my mom if I can have money to play at the casino two weeks ago. She said only $30 and that’s it. I was up at $50 but lost it all. But I thought I knew the secret on how to play. So I went again without her permission and I made almost $200 from a initial $50. I was so excited and I treated myself on shopping and pizza. I told her look at all of this money I made and she was still pissed off. So I went again while they were out and I made $80 on one hand.

Now I’m thinking I’m a pro but my parents would be pissed off and take away my allowance if I ever went again. So I told my parents I’m going on a long bike ride. Which is true. I rode my bike to the casino. The hot guard actually asked for my I.D. I’m flattered but I look much younger with my hat on backwards. Remember this.

I was kicking ass but I lost two crucial pots. I had about a $100 and went all in. I had an ace with a ten kicker and then on the turn I hit triple aces. I’m shaking here and drooling at this pot; I thought I knew I had it for sure. I was thinking of all of the wonderful things I could buy. He calls. I’m being so cocky and I was like I have trip aces. He had the other ace and a jack kicker. And I was stunned; I mean what are the odds of that?

Soon I was running out of chips and was preparing for an all in moment. Now I knew this one guy bluffs all of the time. I get a big slick, which is a suited ace-king, and called all in. Well he shows his pair of fives and I’m praying for an ace or king. Nope.

So now I’m down $20 and it was getting dark. I was there for like five hours and decide to go. I realize how late it was for a bike ride and I had to come up with an alibi. I told my mom I stopped at my friend’s place for a bit and ate out. Being a natural bluffer from my experience of playing poker; my mom bought that story.

So later on me and my mom were watching a show on aging. I was thinking about the guard that asked me for my I.D. I told my mom the security guard actually asked for my driver’s license. Right away I realize I fucked up. Damage control. So I said “I mean the bouncer asked for my I.D. at uh Two Amigos. Yes the bouncer.” Lie accomplished.

She was stilled pissed off because it was dark and I should not be drinking beer on a Monday. My dad asked how many beers I had and told me I was supposed to only use the trail. I told him I had a beer, nachos and wings. And then five minutes later I asked if there was anything to eat. My dad then said didn’t you already have enough to eat. But dad I’m a growing boy and I’m still hungry.

Thieves

Shoplifters Will Be Prosecuted to the Fullest Extent of the Law

Do you remember in Kindergarten when they asked what job you would want to do when you grow up. There were marine biologists, astronauts, chefs, teachers and even a cop. I wanted to be a robber. I thought it would be fun robbing money from banks and stealing treasures from museums.

But I got older and I grew a conscience. I have never stolen anything in my life. When I was younger my brother took some fishing lures from Canadian Tire. I freaked out. “Wwwhat, what are, what are you doing? No, you can’t do that. Nooo. Put it back. No.”

I have some morals. I normally I don’t condone theft. Even if I had an invisibility potion I would never take anything from someone else with a few exceptions. Let’s say you have a son little Timmy who is suffering from some rare disease and you can’t afford some new medication. Would you steal from the hospital? I would hope so. Or how you can’t afford to feed your family. That’s a bit of a grey area for me because you can always buy Kraft dinner or hit the soup kitchen.

With that invisibility potion would you steal from Bill Gates or Oprah? I would because they are rich and I’m sure they won’t even notice that I stole ten grand from the vault. But I would never steal from average people. Unless they’re total assholes. I just don’t like taking advantage of other people and making them all overprotective and paranoid. That’s why every time I leave the house my mom makes me lock the door even if I’m gone out for only five minutes.

I would never steal from a store, even if it is a massive chain like Wal-Mart. Just because it bothers me when people take advantage when given the chance to. It jacks up the prices for customers and increases security.

You know in Wal-Mart how they have the “greeter” at the front of the store. They usually stick some old dude that says hello all day. But they’re really there when the detectors go off to check if the electronic thingy has been removed or if someone tried hiding items in a bag, suitcase or whatever. They don’t accuse said shoplifter but say you forgot to pay for this item. When I was working there I saw this all go down a couple of times. Hilarious. I mean why risk stealing from a store with a million cameras? It would totally suck balls if you are banned and can never shop there anymore. Where are going to shop now? K-Mart?

I have personally been robbed a couple of times. A long time ago me and my brother had some new badass bikes. The garage door was unlocked and some douches stole them. I always wanted to know who had done this. I hope they get hit by a car riding my bike. Seriously. I wish when they are quadriplegics they would be thinking “why Lord? I should have never had stolen this bike and all of this would never have happened. I’m sorry Lord. I want another chance. I’m sorry!”

Another time some punk kids stole my wallet. I left it in the in the car and I forgot to lock it because my hands were full. It just so happens that they came along that very night. They didn’t close the door as not to wake up people.

Fine take my twenty bucks but if you a shred of decency don’t take my drivers license, health card, bank card or my Burger King Kids Club Member card. That’s a bitch waiting in line and getting them all over again. I hope the robbers get robbed themselves. That would be karma. And Jennifer Love Hewitt stole my heart.

I have been cheated too. Sometimes I look up the classifieds to see if any electronics or video games are available. One time I bought a 27 inch television for a hundred bucks from some redneck. He told me they have upgraded. Sure enough it seemed okay. Two weeks later I hook it up and after a while it didn’t work. My dad tried to return it but they didn’t have any money and my dad just told me fine they’re too poor, let it go. And then I did it again at a garage sale.

I guess downloading is a crime too. What’s the worse that could happen? “We are the Royal Canadian Mounties and we found out you illegally downloaded Fat Chicks Orgy 5 and Mexican Shemales 3. You’re going down for this.”

Illegal downloading is a farce. I’m not going to buy each song for dollar. Sure it’s sounds okay paying for your favorite fifty songs. But would cost me a grand for a thousand songs whereas I could just download using Limewire, or whatever, for free.

There are all of these rock star pussies that don’t like downloading. That doesn’t rock for me. They must make a decent amount doing concerts and touring. If you release a solid record, than fine I will dish out fifteen bucks. But not if you are a one hit wonder. No matter how much I love the song Who Let the Dogs Out I’m not going to listen to the rest of their crap.

But if I could steal something I would steal that cardboard cutout of a cop saying theft is a crime that they have at the front of a store. That would be funny and ironic. I would put it beside my movie and video game collection.

Boring Sports

I love pretty much all sports, activities and games. Hockey is my favorite to watch and play. The games are close and exciting. The whole score can change in a matter of seconds. I like the body checks, sweet goals and I think everyone except old ladies love the fights.  I also like to play and watch soccer.

So the reason I chose these is sports is, if they are even sports, is because nothing new or exciting ever happens. They are boring to play and even more boring to watch from the stands. And even more boringer to watch at home. The only fun part is drinking beer while watching it. And I love drinking beer pretty much anywhere.

Sumo Wrestling

Sumo wrestling is where two really overweight guys try to get the other guy out of the circle or onto the ground. It’s a Japanese sport, but I have no clue how it originated. Did one day people thought it would be hilarious if two fat guys go at it without punching? I do recall in the wicked movie Bloodsport where the sumo took on the African monkey guy and just crushed him. Then Van Damn punched him in the junk.

Sumo Wrestling is the only one sport where athletes want to be fat to play. That would be fun to eat anything and how much of anything you want without feeling guilty. “Dammit, I’m only three hundred pounds. All of this butter eating isn’t working and the buffets won’t serve me anymore. I need something even greasier. It’s time to hit Taco Bell.”

I don’t know if they have weight divisions. I mean would welter weight division be like 300 pounds and super heavy weight be a 1000 pounds?  I wish they would wear shorts or at least boxers when they fight. I mean it would be gross if their belt up their ass falls apart. And I wonder if these fat slobs get the girls? Their women must be on top or else they would crush them.

NASCAR

I know a lot a of people who enjoy NASCAR. I don’t though, it all seems the same to me. All you see is cars going supper fast and whizzing by. And then the pit crew guys change a tire or whatever they do. I wonder what their day job is like. “We got a customer! Someone needs a new tire. Its twenty minutes away. We should be there in five and it will only take 30 seconds to change it.”

I don’t have a sick personality but I only thing I enjoy are the crashes. Maybe if they didn’t have so many damn advertisements they could see better. Their car and even their clothes have ads on them. Even on their crutch. And what kind of food do rednecks like anyway. “Hmm I see this ad for Bettie Crocker on his ass; sounds delicious. Oh did you see that car that just passed the other car? That was awesome!” And boat racing is even worse than NASCAR but I have nothing really to say about it.

Baseball

I never really played baseball. I could never throw. I throw like a girl. Maybe even worse than a girl. Maybe I throw like an old lady with Parkinson disease. I don’t remember me and my dad ever playing catch. We kicked the soccer ball around instead.

The only fun thing about baseball is getting up to bat and running bases. The problem is that if your team sucks, you might hardly have a chance to get up to bat. In soccer or other sports your whole team plays at the same time and you can have bench warmers for all of the shitty players. But in baseball only the pitcher gets to play most of the time. If you are in outfield then you might catch a ball what like every once in a while. Baseball is just so damn slow.

Again, nothing exciting ever happens. At the bars I like to watch the sports channel with the highlights. They show sweet putts, awesome goals, nice saves and fights. And then some double play for all of those baseball fans. I mean I can only watch so many home runs or good catches.

Bowling

Don’t get me wrong, I love to go bowling. I can’t put any spin on it so I just try to bowl right down the center. I always pick a ball with big holes that are close together. I like to make bets with my friends and I get excited when they fuck up. The problem is that I always get eight or nines and no strikes or spares.

But who the fuck is going to watch it on T.V.? “Wow he just got another strike and has bowled a perfect game! I am lucky to live to be alive to witness such awe-inspiring and legendary match that will go down in the records.” The only cool thing is when they have a seven ten split.

Finally one of my favorite stories was when I was bowling with some friends. We were bedside this lonely guy who I guess doesn’t have anyone to play along with. I mean who goes alone?  Okay, he brought his own ball and shoes. And he had one glove like he’s Michael Jackson. But he had his own towel that he would wipe his ball before any roll.

So my blond friend, who is a perfect ten and way, way out of my league, is up. She was going to grab a ball and asked if it was his. And get this; he actually said “you couldn’t handle my ball.” Haha. Fag.

Star Wars Quotes

My Top Ten Star Wars Quotes

10. Luke: But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters

9. OB1: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for

8. Vader: The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force

7. Dak: I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself

6. OB1: Mos Eisley, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy

5. Lando: Would you get going, you pirate

4. C3PO: In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years

3. R2D2: Beep, beep, wooo.

2. Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

1. Vader: “Luke I am your father”

This the most famous Star Wars quote. But it never happened in the movie. It actually goes like this:

Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him

Darth Vader: No. I am your father.

Smoking

Camel Toe Cigarettes

Of all the wild and crazy things I have ever done, I’ve never tried smoking. Cigarettes I mean. It’s the only substance I could really see myself becoming addicted to. I’m already hooked on coffee and Big Macs. And Big Macs are draining my allowance. That’s right; I get a weekly allowance of $50 plus beer.

But I don’t have an addictive personality. I love drinking beer but after two nights of heavy drinking that last thing I want to do is get drunk again. And I love weed but I don’t need it to make me feel good or to help me fall sleep. I mean each year me and my family go to Florida for a month and I don’t even miss it.

I’m not saying that an addiction is necessarily a bad thing. It could be good. For example I’m addicted to jogging, watching A&E and playing video games such as Zelda. As a kid I also used to be addicted things like playing cards such Over Power.

My brother smokes. He warned me not to try, but I’m sure I wouldn’t anyway. It’s perfectly fine if you are old and have been smoking your whole life. Go nuts. My question is why people in this day and age begin smoking. Everyone knows it’s addictive and harmful. I have heard that it can be as addictive as heroin.

And you know it’s a not a good thing when so many people are trying desperately to quit. By the way I have never met any potheads trying to quit pot. “I off the weed man, it’s been two days and I’m jonesing. I feel so very cold and I lost so much weight.”

I guess it all comes down to peer pressure and curiosity. I know everyone at Alexander Mackenzie, the high school for retarded people, smokes because it’s cool and the whole school smokes. That’s their social life. I have even see them smoking in the rain and when its freezing outside. Haha.

There are a lot of smokers at my poker league. It’s kind of sad that every ten or fifteen minutes they need to go outside and take another puff. Its really annoying because it’s their deal and we have to deal for them or wait till they get back.

I was at the casino where people are addicted to both slut machines, I mean slot machines, and nicotine. By the way why do people play slots when they know they’re just going to lose money in the long run? I guess there is the whole mentality that “I will win the jackpot because I’m special.”

I have seen people wearing nicotine patches so they don’t have to leave their slot machine. I have even seen people playing two slot machines at once, so you know it doubles their chances. Too bad it’s not like Super Mario 2 where you can stop it when you want. I would be a millionaire.

I assume by now people have heard of the dangers. Some stupid advertisement isn’t going to work. “What this? Smoking causes lung cancer? Holy shit! I thought it helps your lungs by making you cough. Well that’s it for me. I guess I will have to chew tobacco from now on.”

Sure its cool when you’re young because you’re young and you don’t think of the long term consequences. But you don’t want to become some chain smoker that has cancer and now a robotic voice. Back in my days at Wal-Mart I had to mix paint with a robot and we were both getting frustrated because I could hardly understand him.

I have even seen on occasion pregnant women smoking. That makes me sick, it so fucking horrible. I can’t believe you put your addiction over the health of your unborn child.

To be fair it must suck when you have to smoke like twenty feet away from the entrance. At least give them shelter or something. Back when I was in college all of the smokers would smoke at the entrance of my dorm. But for whatever dumb reason there was no ash tray and so everyone would just throw their butts on the ground. So every day the janitor had to clean it up. I have even seen this one broke dude that would collect butts and then smoke them. Haha, loser.

I don’t even know what brands there are. For one thing at the Kiwki Mart they hide the cigarette packages. I don’t know how you would choose one or try a different brand if you can’t even see them? I don’t know the logic behind this is. Is it like how in beer commercials they can’t show people drinking beer? Okay I admit when I see a pizza commercial I feel like pizza. But people are holding onto a cigarette or a beer won’t work for me.

So from what I have seen from Maxim and other men’s magazines is there are Kool cigarettes. What is this like, Camel Joe? Are they aiming at a younger audience because it’s cool? “Ah cool! There are Kool cigarettes. They must be cool.” Why not just make Radical or Epic cigarettes. And I don’t know how much smokes costs.  There are better things in life I would like to spend my money on. Like slurpees or icecream cones.