I Hate Sara Palin

Lat night I drank four energy drinks and spent several hours looking up stuff on Youtube. I came across this guy called the Amazing Atheist.  He’s a very smart guy and I love his bit on feminism. So check him out.

Then I came across all of these clips on how stupid Americans are. I realize they probably only show idiots. But then I find out some crazy statistics like 30% of Americans can’t locate their own damn country on a world map. And I’m thinking there is no fucking way that could be true. So I’m thinking they must be white trash redneck retards because I’m pretty sure citizens from New York or D.C. for example know better.

Then I found some clips making fun of Canada. For example Anny Coulter, who is retarded, thought we fought in Nam and that the States should invade my country because we don’t have an army. Even Fox news took cheap shots like we live in igloos and said dumbass things like instead of police we have Mounties. By the way our crime rate is way less.

That’s the funny thing about Canada. We have the best of both worlds.  We have all of the good things that the U.S. has, but the world doesn’t hate us. We really think outside the box. Americans don’t realize how arrogant they really are. Many ate that bullshit that invading Iraq was a smart decision.  I have even seen some reporters ask which country they should invade next. Most of them suggested other Middle Eastern countries they might have heard of. And one idiot said Italy.

And then I came across this show The Young Turks and he talked about Sara Palin. I’ll admit I don’t know much about politics. So I will spare you the details. But I remember way back in around 2008 hearing how stupid Sarah Palin is. But I never actually had seen her in interviews or speeches until just recently.

I realize I’m like five years late but holy shit is she retarded. I just hate everything about her. Her voice, her smile, her winking. Even when she is being insulted she still smiles like an idiot. I just want to smack her in the face. And for being a past beauty pageant winner I don’t even think she’s hot. She reminds of Peggy Hill. If you don’t believe me then check out some Youtube videos of her and see how stupid and insane she really is.

I realize she was a mayor and a governor of Alaska. Whoopee fucking do. It’s Alaska; I think their population is like 175,000. I don’t think that carries a lot of responsibility. Really what does she do? Cut taxes for igloos and pass sled dogs regulations?

She tries to do this look like whatever she is saying is intelligent. She could say the world is 6000 years old, which she believes, but from her look it sounds like its true. And she tries to use big words that she clearly doesn’t understand. She just pieces random words together. Such as saying “oil and gas regulation.” I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.

She contradicts herself all of the time. She was behind the “bridge to nowhere.” From what I read it was this grossly expensive bridge to a small island with like 50 citizens.  And then she pulls a 180 when congress pulled the plug and called it an embarrassment.

She can’t even answer a simple question. She just rambles on spewing out nonsense that has nothing to do with the question at hand or even politics for that manner. Again her answers are unnecessarily long and incoherent.

Each time she opens her dumb mouth the more stupid she looks. All she does is keep repeating about health care reform, the budget and getting the economy back on track. She never actually explains how she will obtain these goals except to cut taxes. And “it’s all under the umbrella of job creation.” She was so embarrassing the Republicans tried to prevent further interviews with her.

She makes Bush look like a member of Mensa. By the way Mensa is such a gay club. I don’t know what the qualifications of being a member are. “I’m sorry, only people with an I.Q. higher than 170 are allowed to join. Your I.Q. is only 150 and you’re an idiot.” What exactly do they do at their club gatherings anyway? Let’s play speed sudoku or solves algorithms.

In a classic interview, Katie Couric asked her which magazines and books she has read to prepare herself for office. And Palin says she has read most of them. And Couric asks for which ones and Sara says all of them, any of them. She doesn’t give a single damn example. And if you didn’t catch it, Couric does a quick nod to the camera and smiles. And then Palin changes subjects saying Alaska isn’t a foreign country and is a microcosm of America. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

In another interview, Couric asks a question about John McCain Curly Fries and her genius answer is he’s a maverick. Couric says “I’m not going to ask one more time not to belabor the points, specific examples in his 27 years of pushing more legislation.” And genius says “I’ll try to find some and bring it to you.” It’s like Couric is speaking to a monkey.  Palin also couldn’t name a founding father when she was asked on the spot.

Charlie Gibson asks her a question about Russia and again she avoids the question and goes rambling on. I can’t believe this, but she actually says you can see Russia from land in Alaska. I’m not even making this up. Why would she say something so stupid? That’s something a five year old would say. No Sarah, unless you’re Superman, you can’t fucking see Russia from the States. Afterwards when she realized, or was told, how preposterous that statement was, she denied ever saying it. Even though they have it recorded. She also said her interviews were taken out of context.

Palin didn’t even know that Africa is a continent and that South Africa is a country. She has barely been outside her own country. I also heard her saying “we gotta stand with our North Korean allies.” Um, I think she meant South Korea.

In another Youtube clip I saw, Couric asks Palin on her stance on abortion, even from incest or rape. All Palin had to do say was if she’s against it or not and why. Palin goes off the tangent and spews all of these useless words. And then she changes subjects. Am I the only one who notices this? She also likes to repeat people’s names.

I think the only reason why she was chosen to run for vice president is to get the female vote. So why not get a governor and former beauty pageant queen to run for vice president. And McCain can get’s the senior, veteran and racist vote.

Barbra Walters asked Palin something like on a scale of one to ten how does she rate Obama as a president. She gives him a four. Whatever. I really admire Obama. I think he’s an excellent and charismatic president that got stuck with all of this mess to clean up. He seems very intelligent and even funny at times.

CNN’s Cafferty said it best that “Sara Palin is one 72 year old heart beat from being President and if that doesn’t scare the Hell out of you, it should.” He also called her interviews pathetic. Which is very true.

The whole point of my blog is how do idiots like George W. Bush and Sara Palin become or almost become president? There are so many more qualified and intelligent people out there that should be running the U.S. Like Mensa members.

Even as a Canadian my life is strongly affected by whoever becomes president. Sara Palin is a joke. Imagine she actually did become president. It would be a complete disaster. At least Bush was a puppet and he never really ran this country. Who knows what Palin would do? For all I know she could really fuck up the economy. And she would have control of the nukes. Very scary. By the way she can’t pronounce the word nuclear.

I don’t know if this quote is real, but I found it hilarious. "There were plenty of plants and animals back then, and they did just fine in the heat. And as Earth starts to warm up, all our old friends will start coming back. The polar bears might die off, but think of all the dinosaurs we're gonna get!” Haha, priceless. By the way McCain is a dinosaur.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never sleep again.
I just had a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon the other day. Alone. In the dark! I have already written a blog about horror flicks way back. I basically said I like psychological horror movies such as the Shinning and I don’t like gross horror movies like Saw. And one of my very first blogs was about dreams and nightmares.

I also liked the first Scream. Part of the fun was guessing who the killer is. Then they made two more sequels and the killer was someone like the cousin’s lawyer’s maid’s best friend. I think they should have used all new casts and characters.

And the only reason I watched I Still Know What You Did Last Sumer is that Jennifer Love Hewitt is incredibly hot. By the way nice long name. I would have just called it I Still Know.

What bothers me is that in so many horror flicks the victims say “I don’t want to die” or “please don’t kill me.” Its’ not like the killer will have a change of heart and decide not to kill them. “Oh I’m sorry I thought you wanted to be violently murdered. I’ll just go and kill someone who does want to die.”

I’ll admit I liked the first Scary Movie. My favorite part is when they made a bong out of the aquarium and the killer’s mouth changes to a big smile. Then they made like ten more with Dr. Phil or Urkal.

The Nightmare on Elm Street came out in an age of slasher films. I never liked Halloween or Friday the 13th. I found them boring. All the killers do was rip people apart.

By the way did you know that in the first Friday the 13th the killer was actually Jason’s mother? Drew Barrymore didn’t know that. And do you notice that there is an Elm Street in every town. I wonder if Freddy ever killed teens on other streets. Like Nightmare on Main Street.

Nightmare was a fresh face for horror movies in the 80s. Krueger is the most badass killer of all time. He’s face and body are burned and scarred. And he has the claw. An awesome weapon. I still have one from Halloween. Only it’s made of plastic. And he wears a striped red and greenish-brown sweater.

If you didn’t know, Kruger was a child murder. He was not charged on the account of a technicality, so the parents set him on fire. He swore revenge on the parents by killing their children who live on Elm Street. He attacks them in their dreams. And if they die in their dreams they die for real! Kind of like in the Matrix. I liked that, its fresh change of pace.

Originally Freddy was supposed to be a pedophile but that’s not cool. I’ll admit I think kids would rather be molested over getting murdered but everyone hates molesters. Haha, like my uncle Chuck. Haha. Oh Uncle Chuck I never told a soul. As the movies progressed you kind of like Fred and start rooting for him. I like when he cuts off his own fingers.

As a young kid I was terrified of Nightmare on Elm Street. I used to cover my face with a pillow for all of the scary parts. So that was pretty much most of the movie. And I was afraid to sleep later that night because Freddy might attack me in my nightmares and devour my eternal soul. Then I watched it a few days ago and I’m thinking this used to be scary? I think I laughed more than anything.

So here is a short summary about each Nightmare on Elm Street movie. If you haven’t seen any Nightmares than read no further and go out and watch them. This is for people who haven’t seen it or will never see it. By the way this is one long ass blog.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Every horror movie has to begin with a hot chick in danger. Normally this hot chick gets killed but Tina wakes up with some scratches on her blouse. Her friend Nancy and her boyfriend Glen (Johnny Depp) also have some similar nightmares. On Elm Street!

I’m paraphrasing it, but the best line is when Tina’s boyfriend Rod says he has a hardon with your name on it and Tina responds that my name has four letters, how could you fit that on your dick?

So Nancy’s alcoholic mother and her boyfriend are away and Tina and Rod have make up sex. And once someone has fucked in a horror movie they get killed. The first murder is when Tina is asleep and then Freddy drags her all over the room and ceiling. And since Rod was right there and Tina was screaming his name they accuse him of murder.

The next kill scene is when Rod is in jail and Freddy hangs him by his bed sheets. When Nancy faces Freddy, she pulls his hat out of the nightmare. Nancy confronts her mother and she tells Nancy the story about Freddy Krueger.

So the parents freak out and Nancy and Glen are locked inside their rooms. Glen is the next to go and is sucked into his bed and then blood shoots out everywhere. So Nancy is the last one. She tells her mom that Freddy is after them in their dreams but her mom just lets her sleep alone with the windows and doors locked.

Like in Home Alone, Nancy sets all of these booty traps for Freddy. She sets her watch to wake her up in ten minutes and pulls Freddy into the real world. And the first time that Freddy dies is when Nancy sets him on fire. What I don’t get is Freddy was already set on fire and burned all over. How could it get any worse?

Then Nancy tells Freddy that it’s just a dream and that he has no power over her. And like Mario Brothers 2, it was all a dream. What a cop-out. That’s one long ass dream. It’s like watching Lord of the Rings and in the end Frodo wakes up in his bed in the shire and finds out it was all a dream. But I do like the very ending where the gang is in the car and then the roof closes with Freddy’s sweater’s colors. And the bitch just waves. Very surreal.

A Night on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

I wasn’t a big fan of this one. I found it was cheesy. But the first scene is cool. So two chicks and a weirdo are on a school bus. It doesn’t stop at one of the chicks’ stop and we find out Freddy is driving the bus over a cliff. This is why I don’t take city transit. But as kids, before they had the coin counter, we just threw in a bunch of nickels and pennies for the toll.

Five years later the Walshe family move into Nancy’s old house. I wonder how the deal went. Did the real-estate agent knock off $10,000 because some serial killer was killed in that very house? The son Jesse is noticing some weird shit. He and his girl friend Lisa start reading Nancy’s old diary about Freddy.

Who actually writes diaries? Mine would be like today I woke up at 1:00 pm and had a coffee and ate some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It was delicious. And then I played World of Warcraft for five hours. After dinner I had a nap. Then I watched T.V. until 9:00 pm. Afterwards I smoked a joint and ate a Big Mac combo. And then after another nap I played World of Warcraft until 4:00 am and then slept. A good day indeed.

Anyway, we find out that Freddy is killing people through Jesse’s body. His dick gym teacher gives him detention. The gym teacher gets pummeled by sports equipment. And then he gets tied up and stripped naked and killed by the claw. What a shitty and homoerotic death. But who really killed him? Was it Krueger or was it Jesse?

So Jesse starts using anti-sleeping pills. If I was Jesse, I’d start doing Crystal Meth, again, and stay up all day and night playing World of Warcraft. Jesse transforms into Freddy and kills his friend.

The teens are having an awesome pool party and are getting wasted. Freddy crashes the party and they get wasted. This scene surprises me. Normally only a few people actually see the killer. If I was in a horror movie I’d go to a place where there are tons of people. Like a Wal-Mart. So a lot of the partiers witness Freddy and get sliced up.

Lisa tracks Freddy to this old abandoned power plant where Freddy kept his dead bodies and shit. Lisa tries to get a hold of Jesse in Freddy’s body. This part was so corny. Lisa tries to save Jesse through the power of love. Freddy gets burned, again, and then Jesse is okay. We see them on the bus and they say its all over. But it wasn’t.  And the bus took off just like in the beginning.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

This is my second favorite Nightmare movie. It has the scariest opening. In her dreams Kirsten follows this little girl inside this haunted house. She finds these dead bodies and the girl says your hurting me and turns into a skeleton. Then her wrists get sliced by Fred and she is sent to a mental ward.

In the insane asylum we see a young and handsome Morpheus as a male nurse. Kristen is trying to fight them off and Nancy, now a doctor, calms her down. We also see other patients who share similar nightmares. Philip is a puppeteer who sleep walks. Taryn is a former junkie. Joey is a mute. Will is some wheelchair bound nerd. There is the token black patient Kincaid. And Jenny. She’s just ugly.

Philip is the first to go when ropes come out of his arms like a puppet and Freddy makes him jump off the building. Next while Jenny is watching some television Freddy grabs her and smashes her into the T.V.  And next are some boobies. All movies should some tits. Joey is getting lucky with a nurse but she turns into Fred and he falls into a pit of fire. And is comatose.

The rest of the patients have group dreams where they each have special abilities. Taryn becomes hot but Freddy kills her by injecting needles into her arms. Will can walk in his dreams and like a nerd he becomes some eleven wizard. But his spells don’t work and Freddy just stabs him. Haha nerd!

I don’t get the ending but this mysterious Sister Helena tells them they need to bury Freddy’s bones. So Nancy gets stabbed by Fred and then she stabs Fred with his own glove. They then bury him and put a cross and holy water over his body. And at Nancy’s funeral the ward guy finds Sister Helena’s grave and that she is actually Fred’s mother. Dun, dun dunn! But how could a nun have kids?

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Kristen, Joey and Kincaid are out of the ward and back in school. And being a bitch Kristen sucks Joey and Kincaid back into her dreams. We also meet a hotty Alice, but she’s far too young for me. There is Sheila who has asthma.  Debbie who works out and hates bugs. Rick is Alice’s brother and karate master. I myself have a turquoise belt in Jujitsu. And Dan is Alice’s lover.

Kincaid wakes up in the car dump with his dog where they buried Freddy. Surprise, surprise Freddy is back. Freddy traps Kincaid, and since he is black and all he’s the first to go.

Next, Joey is in his bed and he sees some hot naked chick underwater in his water bed mattress. This is kind of weird. But fuck it, she’s hot. She disappears and Fred says “how about this for a wet dream?” And he drowns Joey. By the way water beds are not too good for your back.

Kristen is drugged and ends up sleeping against her will. At first she is in this tropical island but then Freddy buries her in the sand and she ends up in the boiler room and is thrown into the furnace. I didn’t expect this, I thought she was the main character.

While in school Freddy sucks the air out of Shelia. Next Rick gets killed in a karate match with Freddy. And Debbie being so arrogant about her body and hating bugs she becomes a roach. I didn’t like this scene; it was really gross and she dies in a roach trap.

Finally Alice confronts Freddy. By the way did I mention that Freddy traps souls in his body. Well he does. So they’re at some cathedral and for some reason Freddy is like some vampire that can’t see his own reflection. When Alice pulls out a mirror, for whatever reason, the souls rip him apart. And that’s it. No twist ending. Everything is peachy and the credit song is some really, really shitty rap music.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

This is probably the worst Nightmare. I think it got the worst reviews of the series, like a five out of ten. And I never quite understood this movie. I was confused about Freddy having a kid and being the kid. It’s kind of like the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Alice and Dan star in it, along with newcomers Greta, a wannabe model, Mark a comic nerd and Yvonne a swimmer.

This time the movie begins with Alice having a shower. Too bad it’s foggy. Do you wonder why people sing in the shower? Even for someone who can’t sing and is tone death, I like to sing in the shower. I never sing when I’m cooking or cutting the grass.

And I remember our old shower that you turn the knob a quarter of an inch and it goes from freezing to boiling. Anyway she can’t turn it off and she is almost drowned. But then she becomes a nun in some crazy asylum with zombies. And then Alice is giving birth and some ugly, ugly baby. He runs away and turns into Freddy. “It’s a boy!”

One of the coolest deaths is when Dan is driving and Krueger is on the radio. Freddy takes over the bike while he is drinking some booze and spits it all over them. He then takes the handles and speeds like crazy against traffic. He smokes a tanker and it explodes.

Alice finds out Dan knocked her up. She meets this creepy looking boy named Jacob. The same creepy kid in the beginning of Jurassic Park that called a raptor a turkey. Don’t get me started with raptors.

Greta is at the dinner table. Her mother actually looks scarier than Krueger. Seriously watch it. So Freddy makes Greta eat to death. Not a bad way to go really. You know I rather die of eating too many Big Macs over dying of cancer. Next Mark is reading some comic books and finds out that the comic he is reading is about them.  He becomes a badass, like the Punisher, but Krueger cuts him to pieces. Literally.

And I’m not even going to attempt to explain the ending.

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddy’s Dead is my favorite of the bunch. It takes place in Springwood Ohio, in the year 1999. I wonder if there is a Springwood, Ohio with an Elm Street. The movie begins with some teen on an airplane.

When he says he’s afraid of heights the old hag tells him not to be a pussy. He gets ejected from the plane and wakes up in a house that crash lands just like in Wizard of Oz. Then he gets hit by a bus driven by Krueger. He winds up with no memories of who and where he is.

He finds a note in his pocket of a missing person Loretta Krueger. He walks to the next town over and is taken to a youth center by the cops. The youth coordinator Maggie calls him John Doe. There are other kids, Carlos who is half deaf, Tracy is a tough chick that was raped by her father and Spencer a stoner with a rich and overbearing father.

Thinking he has amnesia Maggie suggest they travel to Springwood hoping he might regain his memories. They find out the other troubled teens are stowed away in the back of the van. They arrive in Springwood and notice there are no kids and the adults are all acting crazy. They even see Rosanna and Tom Arnold. I think Rosanna is scarier than Krueger. The kids decide to leave in the van but they find out they are going in circles.

So they have the great idea of going to the creepy house on Elm Street. Carlos finds out he’s trapped in some factory. This is my favorite death scene in all of the Nightmares. First his mother puts giant cue tips in his ear. Then Freddy takes his hearing aid and is walking behind him and acting funny. He asks for his hearing aid back and Freddy makes it super sensitive. So first Fred drops a pin down the stairs creating a huge noise. Then he drops a bunch of pins. And then Freddy scratches a chalkboard with his claw and Carlos’s head explodes.

John thinks he’s Krueger’s son. But he isn’t and Krueger used John to lure his daughter back to Springwood. For whatever reason John is falling but has a parachute. Fred cuts the ropes and he is impaled on some spikes. That’s too bad.

Maggie finds out she is Freddy’s daughter. So she goes to sleep on purpose with the intent of bringing Freddy into the real world and finish him off. And she puts on 3D glasses. Yes, there were 3D glasses long before this craze.

There inside Freddy’s mind she sees how fucked up he was a kid. And how his father would beat him. Years later Freddy’s wife went into Fred’s special room and found all of his serial killer shit. He kills her and tells Loretta, or Maggie, not to tell anyone. But she did. So there is a final showdown and Maggie pins Freddy against the wall with knives and sticks a piece of dynamite down his throat. It explosives and Freddy’s dead. Or so they hoped..

Nightmare on Elm Street 7: Freddy’s Isn’t Dead

Haha, I’m only joking.

The Annoying Viewer Is Back

I have already written a blog about this crazy fuck a couple of weeks ago. But he’s back.

First off, I have already written how to make a blogpage. That’s as far as I know and I’m not going to explain it all over again. Just check my archives. I don’t know how to fix any problems with my blogpage. I use Blogger and they are the ones who might be able to help you out.

And I don’t know much about computers or technical problems. Nowhere in my site do I say computers for idiots. My site is just random shit that I make fun of. I hope to make this clear. I’m not technical support. Don’t be lazy, search online to answer your computer questions.

I have also written about not making dumbass comments. So if you’re going to make a comment, then make a comment about the blog. No more asking me about computers or shit I don’t know anything about. For example if you want to leave a comment about religion than say something about it. I like to hear other people’s opinions about religion.

I do appreciate fans or people who like my site and that like my blogs. For example I heard a comment saying how funny my Inspector Gadget blog was. It feels good and is one of the reasons for my blogpage. I do enjoy comments made by my friends like Lisa, Aaron or Stics.

But then there is this crazy stalker I’ll call Corky. Corky is clearly fucked up or is ten years old. Normally I get about 20 blogs a day, 15 from the states and then 5 for the rest of the world. So I notice a huge spike when out of the blue my stats tell me that there were 75 views from the States in one day.

And I know that about 60 of those views are from one idiot. One thing is most people visit a blog that I have written. Corky on the other hand must have visited my site and then log off and then visit it again within five minutes. So he has done this 60 fucking times in one day. That’s not even funny, that’s crazy. 

Then he asks all of these questions about computers that again I don’t know anything about. And then he asks me to visit his site and leaves some creepy name like “young girls.” Each comment Corky pretends to be someone different but I know it’s him because again he leaves these hardcore porn names like Shamlippen and is an idiot.

I honestly want to know if he enjoys being annoying and get’s his kicks by leaving pointless dribble. If you do enjoy being a pain in the ass, this is the last time I’ll write anything about you. And Corky keeps asking if I need help with my site. I don’t. Especially from him. So Corky if you have any decency stop please stop visiting my site and save yourself time writing anymore comments. I’ll just erase them.

Spartacus

I’m Spartacus! No I’m Spartacus! I’m not… I’m Gregeris.
The movie Spartacus underwent the Hollywood treatment where the revolting slaves are pure good and the Romans are pure evil. For instance, in real life the slaves went pillaging the country side and I’m sure the whole love thing with Varinia (a slave chick) was thrown in.

                                         

This movie came out in 1960 when pretty much anything on the big screen was entertaining. This was much before kids like me developed ADHD. They even have intermission; which is just a blank screen with shitty music. I guess when a movie is so damn long the audience needs a break to take a leak and order more popcorn.

So I watched the three plus hour movie while playing video games, pausing for any of the good gladiator fight scenes. I love Roman history and being pure evil as I am, I think gladiator fights are fucking cool. I also think it would be cool to watch a lion and a bear go at it.

Anyway the movie changes some of the history, and so it begins with Spartacus as being a slave his whole life until he is bought to become a gladiator. There the slaves undergo gladiator school to become pure and ruthless killers. Spartacus is rewarded for his training by getting his own slave slut, Varinia. He never even had a girlfriend. They both somehow fall in love. You can tell by the romantic music. They have countless close-ups of them looking at each other. Anyway she is sold to a  Roman senator and ambitious leader Crassus.

Spartacus finally snaps and leads a revolt against his captors. One scene shows him drowning a man in a giant bowl of soup; what a shitty death. They escape to the country side where they free more slaves to join their rebellion. At the same time (I think, but wasn’t really paying attention) Roman leaders and the Senate squabble with each other for whom and how they will stop this growing insurgence.

Spartacus is reunited with his bitch. He asks Varinia how she escaped and she says she flew from the wagon (or whatever). And they both laugh like crazy. They think it’s so funny Spartacus does the whole pez thing where his head goes way back as he laughs. When I smoke weed and watch South Park I laugh like crazy. But I have never laughed so hard in my whole life as Spartacus did.

So Spartacus is freeing other slaves and training them in combat. Just like the show American Gladiators. He meets Antonius, a former royal servant and singer of songs. What a sissy. We saw him earlier giving Crassus a sponge bath. Gay! I don’t know why Antonius fled because he had it good there as a servant. And since anything is funny back then, there are scenes of them endlessly laughing over his simple magic tricks and songs.  In one scene Varinia is bathing nude and finds out Spartacus is watching her the whole time. Creepy. She tells him she got knocked up and they will have a son.

Spartacus reaches a deal with pirates to use their ships to escape Rome and return to their respective homelands. They reach the coast and have one awesome party. But they are doubled crossed and now must fight a much greater Roman legion that has blocked their escape. The battle is fucking cool. The best cinematic battle at the time. It must have used thousands of extras, costumes and horses. I love when the slaves used the rolling logs of fire and the Romans are fleeing for their lives.

The survivors are granted their lives (still as slaves though) if they locate Spartacus or his body.  Spartacus is about to give himself up but two of his friends stand up and say “I’m Spartacus!” And for some retarded reason every single prisoner claims to be him. I don’t know if they wanted to be honorable, to go with the crowd or not to hurt his feelings. So they are all crucified and Spartacus sheds a tear. I think it would have been hilarious if one guy just sat there and said I’m Joe.

So they are all crucified along the roadway. It kind of takes away from Jesus’ noble and horrific death. And ironically without knowing, Spartacus and song boy have to fight to the death! Spoil alert! Spartacus kills Antonius, and then says he loves him. So they crucify Sparty. Varinia brings their son to see Spartacus dying on the cross and then leaves. Not a very happy ending.

Philosophy

I love philosophy and theological debates. I always come up my own opinions and answers. But sometimes I find out later that someone else had the same argument as me.

I was watching a recent speech by Richard Dawkins and Herb Silverman. And Herb said what I was thinking a long time ago, that through evolution there could not be a first human being. So how can humans have souls and not animals?  

But I have already written all about religion and some philosophy topics like Determinism and Appearance vs. Reality. So here are just a few shorter philosophical questions:

The Fallen Tree

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I like to say no because sound is the result of these vibrations. When these vibrations reach a person’s ear their ear transforms it into sound. If nobody is there then there are no ears to pick up these vibrations and therefore no sound. Here’s my stupid analogy. If there is a comedy movie in an empty movie theater, is it funny? Funniness is subjective and without an audience how can it be funny?

Altruism

Do you believe in altruism? If you don’t know, altruism is unselfishness; meaning we do good deeds for other people without reward. With religion, do people do good deeds out of the kindness of their heart or do they do it in order to go to Heaven? And do people do good deeds for others because they might be helped in return? You know like giving your girlfriend a ring. Do you do it out of love or do you expect a blow job. Even if you sponsor a starving child out of kindness of your heart, you might do it for feeling good about yourself. But I’m not a cynic. I think an example of true altruism is when the firefighters sacrificed themselves saving people in the Trade Centers. They are heroes.

Abortion

Uh oh abortion. Abortion is a very touchy issue. Whatever side you’re on, you’re wrong. So I take both sides.  I think it depends on how long these women are pregnant. I find the morning after pill a great decision because it’s just a bunch of cells. I compare these cells as a seed from a tree. It’s not really a tree yet, but eventually it will be.

I hope if they do have an abortion they will do it as soon as possible. On the other hand you are killing a fetus. I won’t go into details, but it’s very gruesome. I think adoption is the best way to go because there are always people willingly to raise this child.

There is a but however. I think it is permissible to abort fetuses as a result of incest and or rape. I think we really need to educate and hand out birth control to young women. I’m sick of religious people against contraceptives and for “going forth and multiplying.”

I often hear religious people argue that God has a plan for these fetuses. Well he doesn’t if you do kill it and therefore it has no plan. That’s like saying I would have won the basketball championship had I made the team. By the way I hate these religious hypocrite idiots that bomb abortion clinics.

Speaking about adoption, should gay people be allowed to marry and have kids? I have no qualms with gay marriage. But I think it would be a little creepy having two dads. So I think I’m against gay people having children. On the other hand they would probably be much better at raising children than a lot of heterosexual couples. Some that should never be parents.

The Chicken or the Egg?

What came first? The chicken or the egg? I go with the egg because all chickens come from eggs. There could not be a chicken that doesn’t hatch from an egg. Even if there was a first chicken, it came from egg. That’s the problem. I understand that you might say “well the chicken comes first because a chicken would have to lay the egg.” Maybe some mutant bird or chicken ancestor laid an egg that a chicken hatched from.

Moral Questions

If you had to choose between the lives of your family or the lives of all of those 9/11 victims, who would you choose to save? And be honest. I’d choose my family. Spock might say the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But I love my family and I had nothing to do with 9/11. Had it been another family I didn’t know, of course I would definitely choose the 9/11 victims over them.

Also for a lucky rich person it’s easy to be moral. For a poor person it’s harder. There is the one morality question; what would you do for your children? For example what happens if there is this new drug that can save your sick child? The drug is expensive and you can’t afford it. Would you steal it? I would. On the other hand, if you were rich, you wouldn’t have to face this dilemma. You would just go out and buy it.

Parallel Universes

I watched this NOVA special about parallel universes. Although we can’t see or find parallel universes, could they exist? I think it is possible. I am curious of how many parallel universes there might be and how different they are. For example, could there be a parallel universe where I’m a billionaire or supreme ruler of the Galaxy?

Or could there be a universe where instead of an Adolf Hitler sperm there was some other sperm that fertilized an egg. And then World War 2 would have had never happened. But then with no enemies Stalin would take over all of Europe. And Japan would never attack Pearl Harbor. And the States never got into any wars. And as a result we never had the Beatles.

But seriously, imagine a parallel universe where Al Gore won the election. And Gore actually paid attention to those documents warning about terrorist hijacking planes. And 9/11 never happened. Or even if 9/11 did happen, Gore would never attack Iraq and both the States and Iraq would not be left with all of this devastation.

Could a Machine Have Emotions?

There are two movies that come to mind regarding robots having feelings. There is the classic movie 2001 Space Odyssey that is all about evolution. So these astronauts are on this spacecraft and have a central computer named HAL. HAL becomes aware of himself and turns on the humans. In the end HAL becomes scared when the last survivor Dave is dismantling him. And A.I. is great movie. It was made in 2001. Is that a coincidence? I won’t spoil it, but the kid is a robot designed to be a child for parents to love.

I’m no biologist or psychologist but my understanding is that our brain consists of billions of neurons and our thoughts are made through connections and interactions between these neurons. Our mind is a product of the brain. Could we replicate this for a robot and have artificial neurons and such? As improbable as it seems I see why not. And does this robot have to be necessarily made of metal or could there be organic robots? Speaking about robots I think it would be awesome to have my own. I’d call him Al and he would be my best friend and we would play video games and watch T.V. together.

Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

I find the Universe or reality to be perfect. But I don’t mean perfect in a sense that everything is good or positive. I mean everything from the tiniest molecule to the Sun and moon. I like how everything works together like math, science and astronomy. Imagine our days have 26.23 hours instead of 24 hours? Would we have a new mathematical system for our days?

And take the original Star War trilogy for example. They are perfect movies. I love everything about them, from R2D2, Tie fighters, light sabers, the force to Yoda. And look how it turned out. Had Lucas never made Star Wars then would someone else? And what would the world be without other famous people like Shakespeare, Jesus or Michael Jackson?

So does everything happen for a reason? There is the principal of causality. Every action has a reaction. Think about your own life and how small decisions had big effects. Think about your family and friends and what would it be like to have different family and friends. Just think of all of the interactions and how you came to be. Had I not wrote these long ass blogs on Facebook, my friends would never get me to make this very blogpage and there would be no I Have Issues. And no laughter.

Is War Acceptable?

I’ll keep it short. War is horrible. This is why I hate George W. Bush. He boasted himself as a war president, as if that’s a good thing. He attacked Iraq for oil, military profit and to kill Sadam. He didn’t give a shit about killing Iraq civilians and soldiers. For example he bombed a restaurant to kill one of Sadam’s sons. He didn’t even give a shit about his own troops and was cutting funding for injured soldiers. And many Americans are or were behind him 100%. But I already wrote a blog about Iraq and the idiot W. three years ago so check it out.

But I think in certain situations it is acceptable. We don’t live in Care Bear land. Sometimes war is necessary. You can’t just sit there and let some other nation bomb the shit out of you. You have to retaliate. It’s the instigating of wars that is unacceptable. It’s hard to think of examples where attacking is acceptable. I think the civil war could be acceptable because they are abolishing slavery. I wonder if it would be a good idea to help the fighting in Africa or should we just mind our own business.

What is Good and Evil?

This seems like a straight forward question but what really is good and what is evil. You might think anything that breaks the law is evil. Or things that go against the Bible are evil. Obviously child molesters and murderers are evil. And Jesus and Big Macs are good.

Back to Bush again. I think Bush is evil and is stupid for calling himself a war president. With wars people are going to get killed. If he begins a war, he’s breaking one of the commandments; thou shalt not kill. But most Americans think he is a virtuous and moral and support the war and accept the notion that he is liberating Iraq. And he says he reads the bible; which I doubt. I find most parts of the bible to be amoral, but I won’t go into details.

How about greed? Is it a bad or good thing? Is it okay to know that there are all of these starving people that need your help but you don’t do anything about it. Of course you can’t help everybody. You know what, I think in a strange sense that capitalism promotes greed. I don’t think that’s a negative thing because everyone looks after themselves and by looking after themselves that is how we function as a society.

Another question is, are drugs bad? In our society there is nothing wrong with prescription pills. But whoa, recreational drugs, they are bad. I think there is a certain stigma with drugs. I hate feeling like a criminal or an evil person because I like smoking marijuana. I don’t see what is morally wrong with getting high, eating Skittles and watching South Park.

Finally Trying to Have Logical Debates with Christians

I have recently found out about this show on Youtube called the Atheist Experience. It has been around for a long time and I can’t believe I just found out about it. Matt Dillahunty is the host and a very funny and smart guy. All of these religious callers are crazy and he just rips them apart using logic.

Every time I pose a question or a philosophical question my mom she uses the God answer. It works every time even though I don’t believe in Him. She might say well this is God’s will. For example she would be against gay marriage or abortion because it’s against God’s will. And that’s as far as we get.