Novelties

Here is some stuff that gets boring quickly:

Air hockey

Way back, I went to Orlando, Florida with my relatives. We stayed in this massive Hotel with its own arcade. There me and my cousin played a shitload of air hockey. It was fun, so fun my cousin begged his mom to get one. I told him they would get boring in a week and it will only take up space. I guarantee people who own one are sick of it. However foosball, ping pong and billiards on the other hand are always awesome.

Segway

I never actually tried a segway or have seen one in person. But I don’t need to try one to know they must get boring fast. It’s all of the fun standing up without walking. Seriously how lazy can you be? Crippled people use wheelchairs because they can’t stand up in the first place. I wonder whether you use it on the sidewalk or on the streets. And I wonder how fast they can go, if they can go off-road and if you need a segway helmet.

Skidoos

I have tried my buddy’s skidoo a couple of times. It was fun for a while hitting waves and trying to do jumps. But skidoos get old fast. Unlike a bike, rollerblades or a skateboard it doesn’t really work for transportation. Unless you live New Orleans. Now it’s taking up space in my friend’s garage and I don’t know how much he can get for selling it.

Pinball

I used to play some mean pinball at the arcade. It’s fun to try to keep going as long as possible and to try to beat the high score. I love when you get multi balls. But when you own one at home there is really no point to it. The same goes with Pacman. At the arcade its fun, but when you owe one, like I do, it gets boring and frustrating fast. I mean how far can you possibly go and can you beat it? I made it to level three. There should be a Guinness World record. Like for making it to level seven. If there is a level seven.

Remote Control Cars

One of my worst purchase decisions was buying a remote control car. Me and buddy both got one at the same time. First we drove them all over the streets even though the range was limited. We made ramps to do some crazy jumps and even used it on the playground. It was fun for a few days. Not so much anymore. I was thinking of supping it up it by adding lasers, bombproof armor, gold rims and Sirius satellite radio.

Remote Control Helicopters.

Then there are those remote control helicopters. I tried it out at Future Shop and it was cool. Buddy on my hockey team has one. I wonder how high they can go and what happens when the batteries wear out. It could crash and I doubt the warranty covers it. But I guarantee the novelty will wear off. Unless if you add a magnet to pick up beer cans. That would be cool.

Trampoline

I always wanted to jump on a trampoline as a kid. I finally got the chance to try it at a friend of a friend’s place. Years later my friend’s neighbor got one and I actually paid $2 to try it out. So like a little kid I had to get one for my birthday. It was fun jumping with friends and seeing who can jump the highest. Too bad my mom was extremely worried that me or a friend might break our neck trying to do flips. But it got old and we finally packed it away because it just took up so much room in my backyard. But just now I have the biggest craving to jump on it again.

Swimming Pools

I have a sizeable swimming pool. As kids it was awesome. We played a lot of Marco Polo and water polo. Too bad my neighbors’ tall ass trees used to overhang my pool and leaves, bugs and shit would sprinkle on it. And because of the damn trees it was in the shade and wasn’t the warmest pool. I recommend just jumping in instead of walking down the steps slowly. Too bad I could never do flips. I either pussy out and just jump in. Or I land on my back. Now I only jump in to cool off on those hot summer days. Trust me, having your own pool gets boring. Unless there are hot chicks swimming with you.

Electric Guitar

Years ago for Christmas I got an electric guitar. We bought it brand new and spent over $350 for it and all of the accessories. I should have just gone to the pawnshop or even Wal-Mart. Being on my reverse retirement and having all of the time in the world I thought I will get lessons and become a rock god. I tried it a couple of times and broke a string. I couldn’t play anything remotely coherent or friendly to the ears. Now it’s just sitting there in the far corner collecting dust and cobwebs.

But my dream of being a rock star lives on. You know how you have fantasy baseball and you pick and choose your favorite players and assign them to each position. I do that with rock bands. My band would have Slash and Angus Young on guitar, Eddie Vedder on vocals, Flea on bass. Travis Barker on drums and me on cowbells. Then I would go back in time and steal all of my favorite songs from other bands and combine them to have the greatest rock band ever! I’d call it the Gregera Experience.