Honey Boo Boo Child

Honey Doo Doo Child

There is no denying that looks are huge in our society. After all we base so much on what we see. For example the first thing we say about a baby is how cute he or she is. Even if they are not cute at all. You never say a baby looks homely or looks like they are going to very smart. “You’re baby may not have the looks but I see a future accountant!”

I remember in the elementary school dance nobody would dance with Becky because she was fat and ugly. And I think she had a crush on me. All the girls kept saying someone dance with Becky someone dance with Becky. In retrospect I should have danced with her to score points with the hotter girls. I wonder where she is now.

Speaking of crushes I remember this ultra anorexic chick liked me. She was so damn skinny, even by anorexic standards. But not just that, I didn’t like anything about her. One thing is she would say the stupidest shit. That’s coming from someone who says the stupidest shit all of the time. She would eat a half a tic tac and walk miles home. I think her friends should seriously have had an intervention or something.

So pencil neck asked me out for prom and I said “okay.” Afterwards I was like holy shit what the fuck did I got myself into. I’m asking my friends on what should I do. Should I be obnoxious on purpose or say that I was going to ask someone else? And later on I find out Kevin set me up and told her to ask me out for the prom. Thanks Kevin. So I just told her I didn’t want to go and I don’t like dancing. Which is true.

So that fucked my prom. I guess I should have gone with her. I mean what’s the worse that could happen? All I am doing is dancing with her. It’s not like we are dating her or anything. She ended up going with this ultra dork loser and was complaining that she could do better. But I think she got the last laugh because my dad knows her dad and my dad told me she is a doctor. And I live in my parent’s basement. Hmm.

Anyway I’m sure everyone has heard of Honey Boo Boo Child. Her real name is Alana which surprisingly doesn’t sound white trash. Her show is a spin off of a child beauty pageant show Toddler and Tiaras. I hate beauty pageants, but I hate child beauty pageants even more so. I mean what kind of sick perverts rates a young child on their looks? And what is this teaching these young impressionable girls?

I have yet to see the actual pageant but I’m wondering how they judge the girls. First off do they give points for answering thought provoking questions? I don’t know what they would say other than wishing for world peace, saving the rainforest or getting the show O.C. back on the air. And do they have a talent portion? I don’t even know kind of talent a five year old could possibly do other than singing that over the rainbow song? “Here today Amy is going to do skip it, Erin is going to do tricks with devil sticks and little Tammy is going to sing the Ghostbusters theme song.”

 Honey Boo Boo Child isn’t even cute and her appearance seems to be getting worse. For one thing her mom looks like a football player in drag. You know what’s going to happen when you’re mom is a fat beasts. She’s only six and already she’s getting chubby. And then there is her juice. It’s a concoction of Mountain Dew and energy drink. Yea that’s real healthy. Wait a sec; I’m also hooked on energy drinks.

The funny thing is that the show is on the Learning Channel. Yes TLC. I have no clue why this would be considered educational at all. What’s next? The life of porn star Jenna Jameson in “I’m a Hoar?” But the ratings are huge. Anyway I found this clip on You Tube about Miss Teen South Carolina 2007. It’s called “Uhhh what did she just say?” Hilarious, she made no sense at all.