Top Ten People I Want to Meet

Top Ten People I Want to Meet

If you could choose to meet anyone, dead or alive, who would you want to meet? Here are my top ten people I wish I could meet.

10. Samuel Jackson

Samuel Jackson is one of my favorite actors. He seems like a really cool guy to meet. He starred in so many great movies. Even though he didn’t belong in Star Wars. He’s in a ton of Quentin Taratino films. My favorite movie he was in is Pulp Fiction. And the best part is in the beginning where he and John Travolta are after the briefcase and the guy keeps saying “what.”

9. Chris Farley

It’s sad that Chris Farley has passed away. He seems like a really fun person to hang out with. He was hilarious on SNL. Everyone remembers the one where he is a motivational speaker with the line “when you live in a van down by the river.” I also loved him in the bit where he’s in the restaurant and instead of the coffee he ordered they served him new columbium coffee and he just freaks out. Very funny.

8. Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo da Vinci is an overall genius and jack of trades who was an integral part of the renaissance movement. He was a revered artist who painted the most famous paintings the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper.  I’d tell him how much those paintings are worth and hope he doesn’t have a heart attack. And I would pay him to paint something for me and then I’d sell it for millions of dollars. Or maybe gazillions of dollars!

7. Bill Maher

Bill Maher has some controversial opinions. Especially criticizing religion. He made a funny and eye opening documentary called Religulous. I would love to meet him in person and discuss religion and politics. And I’d ask him to read this very blogpage and tell me what he thinks of it.

6. Plato

Plato was a brilliant philosopher who lived in ancient Greece. I would love to meet him.  I’d discuss and debate philosophy and mythology. Then I’ tell him all of our pivotal world history moments and even foretell him his own life and death. But then a paradox would occur and cause the space time continuum to collapse upon itself.

5. Shakespeare

Shakespeare is without a doubt the greatest author of all time. I actually loved reading his plays in high school. They were way better than those other boring books we had to read, like the Chrysalids. It’s all about a bunch of freaks.

So my friends called me gay because I like the movie Romeo and Juliet. It’s the same dialog and everything but set in present day. I would ask him to look at my own theatrical play “the Life and Times of Greg” and see what he thinks. And then I’d ask for his autograph.

5. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Back when I was in high school Jennifer Love Hewitt was the hottest chick ever. She’s the only reason why I rented I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. And she starred as Amanda Becket in my favorite party movie Can’t Hardly Wait. I’d ask if she has a boyfriend and if not I’d ask if she would want to go on a date and maybe play putt putt and then make out. And who knows.

4. Will Farrell

Will Farrell is one of the only reasons that kept SNL funny. I’d admit he’s in a lot of good movies and in a lot of shitty movies. But I’d sellout too when people are just throwing money at you. I would love to get high with him. And I’d like to him to read my unfinished script for a psychedelic movie I call “Bad Trip.”

3. Einstein

Obviously Einstein is the most famous mathematician. He is known for the equation E=MC2 (I don’t know how to make it square) and his theory of relativity. I would love to discuss the universe and science with him. And I’d bring him up to date all of our progress in technology and knowledge. I’d meet Steven Hawking but it would take forever to talk to him and I’m not a very patient person. I rather read his thoughts.

2. Hitler

I would love to beat the living shit out of Hitler and lock him up in cell without any food and see how it feels. Once he’s dead I’d cremate him and then flush his ashes in the toilet at Mc Donald’s and then take a shit on them.

1. Jesus

If you guessed Jesus then you are correct. I would love to meet the most famous person to ever live and you’re savoir; Jesus Christ. I would have a billion questions ask about religion and life. Like what’s Heaven or Hell really like?

I would beg him to perform a miracle for me like to turn water into Jagermeister. Or we would order Dominos and when we eat it, it would magically replenish. Then there would still be leftovers that I’d put in the fridge.

I’d have to get a photo with me and him. That way my friends would believe me or that’s one of a Hell of a Photoshop job.  And when my mom is looking at our photo album she would be like “here is Greg’s grade four class pictures. Doesn’t he look cute? Here is Greg with his friends on their high school graduation day. Oh here’s Greg with Jesus Christ. What a nice photo. And here is Greg dressed as a suicide bomber for Halloween.” I also have dirty feet so I’d asked him to clean them.