Lego

Lego My Eggo

My favorite toy as a kid was Lego. You can build whatever you can imagine. And I have a good imagination. In fact as a kid I wanted to work for the Lego Corporation in Denmark and make my own Lego constructions. I love how Lego is capitalized by the way.

I never liked Lego clones such as Mega Blocks. No, real Lego is the only way fly. So unless it says Lego on every piece I’m not touching it. I found the clones never stuck together just right.

Back in the day there were only a few different blocks. Three flat ones equal one normal block. Do you remember it being a bitch trying break them apart? I resorted to using my teeth. Which was gross really and left chew marks.

I remember in elementary school I’d finish my math as quickly as possible so I’d be the first person to get to play with the Lego. That was when I was awesome at math. Of course my buildings were a mess and had no color coordination. You know when your house walls looks like scrambled eggs. Years later our school had pneumatic Lego. It was awesome.

I love how all of the Lego people are yellow; like the Simpsons. I don’t remember any black Lego people when I was a kid. I guess it is because Lego people’s eyes and mouths are black and black Lego people would be just a black Lego block. Unless their teeth are showing when they smile.

I was into Lego cars and vehicles. Wheels were my favorite pieces. Back in the day me and my brother would create own vehicles and ram them against each other. First one to stop moving loses. So I’d used like ten wheels. I find flat pieces hold together better. Of course you need a Lego driver, a glass windshield and a steering wheel so he can drive.

My friend Aaron had like a million pieces. He had like five bins of Lego. Mostly space stuff. It’s sad that I liked playing with them when I was like fourteen. Again we’d create our vehicles and ram them. He had so many pieces you’d have to empty the bins and look for all of the wheels and sort the good parts.

I also got into Castle Lego. My favorite thing was the catapult. I had two. I had two huge castles, one was the good castle and one was the evil castle. I had a million knights. Me and buddy actually bought some knights from his neighbor Ross. Haha Ross. We ripped him off. His mom found out and she was pissed.

So way back I made this huge battleground on my dresser. I still have a picture of it. I bought a huge flat green piece and painted a blue river for my pirate ship and other ships. It was sweet. At the time. Now its sad. However my brother used it as a display in school and people stole pieces. I was pissed. I also lost my instructions for my Lego sets. I wonder if they have a Lego website where they have instructions and new ideas.

Now they have a million different Lego themes. They have Starwars, Ninja, Skyrim, Indiana Jones, Lone Rangers and even Bond. I wonder what can you build for James Bond but whatever. There are Marvel and DC Lego too. If I was a kid I’d have battles between DC and Marvel. I hope Professor Xavier has a wheel chair. And I hope they have the X-Men ship; Black Bird.

I wonder if they have Lego in Israel. You’d have sacred Lego walls and temples. Lego people can walk on the Dead Seas. There would be Lego suicide bombers with Lego pieces scattered everywhere. And Lego tanks and helicopters.

What bothers me is now you have these huge pieces. It kind of takes away from being able to build things. Imagine a car that is one giant piece. I also liked mixing Lego peoples’ parts and making transvestite Lego people.

I love all of these Lego video games like Starwars Lego and the Lord of the Rings Lego. I don’t know why but they’re fun. I think they should have Nintendo Lego. Imagine Mario Lego where he can break floating Lego blocks, collect Lego coins and shoot Lego fireballs. Yoshi can eat Lego blocks and turtles can take off their Lego shells. And Zelda Lego would be like Castle Lego or Lord of the Rings Lego.

I always wanted to go to Lego Land. I’ve seen life size statues of R2D2 and Darth Vader. Sweet. That would be a bitch to build. Imagine a place where you live where everything is made of Lego. I want to live in my own Lego house and drive a life size Lego Ford Focus. And I’d have a huge Lego statute of me, only in tan color. If Lego comes in tan. I don’t know. By the way I think I used the word Lego about fifty Lego times.