Superstitions

I’m not a superstitious person. But look at my life. I must be the unluckiest person ever.

Walking under a ladder brings bad luck:

I don’t know why someone would walk under a ladder in the first place. It’s pretty dangerous.

A rabbit’s foot brings good luck:

That’s disgusting. I love rabbits; they’re cute and fluffy. Why would you kill a rabbit and then carry one of his feet?

Friday the 13th is an unlucky day:

I saw the movie series Friday the 13^th a long time ago. I do know that in the first one Jason drowns and it the killer is actually his mother.

To break a mirror will bring you seven years of bad luck:

I broke a mirror when I looked at it. What happens if you break several mirrors? Do you get 14 years of bad luck or 7 years of really bad luck?

Blowing out the candles:

By blowing out all of the candles on your birthday cake you get a wish. I didn’t come true.

To open an umbrella in the house will bring bad luck:

I don’t know why someone would open it inside? I don’t even use umbrellas. I wear a raincoat and or drive. Its funny we have an old one made out of metal. Not a good idea.

Horseshoes bring good luck:

I wonder if horseshoes give good luck when people play horseshoe toss. And whoever makes horseshoes should be the luckiest person.

A bird in the house is a sign of a death:

Oh shit! We took care of my uncles parrot Judge (he’s a lawyer) just a while ago.

666:

666 is the Devil’s number. I forgot which street but I remember there are actually two houses with the address 664 and 668 in Sarnia. I mean how annoying would it be if your house or apartment address be 666 when you want to order pizza or fill out some forms and stuff.

Finding a four leaf clover brings good luck:

And finding a five leaf clover brings really good luck. You might as well carry a rabbit’s foot and horse shoe too.

Step on a crack you break your mom’s back:

I’ve done this since I was a kid but for some reason I actually avoid stepping on cracks or sticks when I walk on the side walk.

At the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold:

It’s too bad that you can’t really find the end of a rainbow.

Garlic protects you from evil spirits and vampires:

I don’t believe in any spirits, good or evil, or vampires. I do like garlic bread. And it also wards of girls.

Beginners luck:

I’m not superstitious but I find this happens all of the time. The first time I played in this poker league I finished second place out of thirty people. And I barely knew to play. And the first time I played hockey since like ten years I scored two goals.

It is bad luck to sleep on a table:

I never heard of this one but found it online. I don’t know why someone would sleep on a damn table.

An acorn at the window can keep lightning out of the house:

This one doesn’t really make sense. I have never had the problem of lightning inside my house. But I better go find some just in case.

To drop a fork means a woman will visit:

Well I better go dropping forks because I’m so very lonely.

Smell dandelions, wet the bed:

When I was a little kid I used go out to the park and collect dandelions and give them to my mom. I never had trouble of wetting my bed. But I have shite in my bed when I was sick and had massive diarrhea

Bird shit equals riches:

Haha, my friend actually got bird shit on his shoulders. What are the odds?

Washing a car will bring rain:

This must be a new one. Good thing I don’t wash my mom’s car. And my dad uses the car wash. I remember how cool it was as a kid to go through the car wash in my dad’s Fiero.

It is bad luck to chase someone with a broom:

This is just silly. Who chases someone with a broom. Good thing we have vacuum cleaners and mops.

To find a penny heads up, brings good luck:

To find a toonie brings even more good luck. I remember I found a $20 bill at the movie theater. I told my mom because it was awesome. And she tells me to give it to one of the employees. Haha, ya right.

Evil spirits cannot harm you when you are standing in a circle:

Well I better start drawing circles just to be safe.

If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck:

My neighbors have a black cat and it crosses my path all of the time. They just let it roam the streets at night. And I’m tired of missing cat signs. There is still one since last year. It’s gone, move on and get another one.

When your palm itches, you will come into some money:

Let’s keep our fingers crossed that my palms become itchy. Daddy needs a new car.

A cricket in the house brings good luck:

Normally I hate insects, but I don’t mind crickets. Sure they may bring good luck, but they are annoying as Hell when inside. And did you know they make that annoying sound with their legs?

Throwing salt over your left shoulder:

Spilling salt is an evil omen so you throw some over your left shoulder to ward it. Spilling pepper is safe.

Saying God bless you after you sneeze:

People say God bless you because the soul might escape. I myself sneeze in bursts of like four to ten times. I guess that’s why I don’t have a soul

If your ears itch or burn, someone is talking about you:.

My ears are always burning.

Eating fish makes you smart:

Well I better start eating more fish.