Mallrats

In my hometown of Sarnia there are two malls. Back in the day there was the Eaton’s Mall, located in the heart of downtown. It has an underground parking lot just like in an X-Files episode. It has a huge bell that any hunchback would be proud of. There was an escalator that me and my brother would run against. But I was afraid of getting my shoe lace stuck in the edge.  And the best of all there is a water fountain.  I used to grab any coins near the edge. What would they do with the coins anyway? Maybe donate them to some orphanage?

However the Lambton Mall took all of the business. I remember in the hallway they had a line of like thirty bikes and as me and my brother were checking them out and I knocked one down. And I freak out as they were falling like dominos. But don’t worry only like six of them fell and we fled the scene.

So my city decided to renovate the Eaton’s Mall and call it the Bayside Mall. It was suppose to renewal the downtown. It didn’t. And now all of the stores are closed and the mall is empty. It’s pretty sad. As I said the Lambton Mall is where the action is. But malls are a dying breed. Now you have block stores and strip malls.

As a kid I hated buying clothes. “Greg I want you to see this nice yellow shorts that goes with this matching yellow top.” “Fine I want to go home.” I think I wore a lot of jogging pants with monster trucks on them and red shirts. At least I didn’t wear those shirts with wolves on them or wear gloves attached to the coat sleeves all year round. It’s funny that I’ve seen guys with angry bird T-shirts.

As I got older I started wearing a lot of Umbro clothes. If you don’t know, they are a soccer brand. I also had some No Fear shirts. I mean they put No Fear on anything, even socks and boxers. And there was a Canadian brand called Grub Wear. I had a couple of hats. But I would never wear those Big Johnson boner shirts.

As teenagers we would hang out at the mall because we had nothing better to do. Maybe to pick up chicks. And better yet would go with some chicks. Now my friends hate going to the mall with me because I take my time trying on clothes and I look at every single movie and video games there is. It’s almost like I collect these items. I pretty much own every good movie there is in existence. I have almost a full wardrobe with over 25 T-shirts. And I buy video games I haven’t started or even opened.

Just the other day I had reverse buyers remorse. That’s when you should have bought something and you didn’t. It has happened to me many times. So once I did buy a game and it turned out to be a piece of junk. So before I buy a movie or videogame I like to go home and look up reviews.

I was at Goodwill right before it closed and I saw the game Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts for $3 for Xbox 360. That’s like they are giving it away. In the game you create your own vehicles and race them. But idiot me didn’t buy it. Right as I leave I realize I should have bought it. I get home and its gets like 8.3 of 10 review. I freak out and decide first thing the next morning I will go and buy it. I slept in that day and forgot all about it. When I came to, I ran to the store. It was sold.

I’m pissed off. For the next two days it was just eating at me. “Why oh why didn’t I buy it.” I mean I spend $3 on McDonalds all of the time. So now I became obsessed with my bad decision and tried buying it at the videogame store. They don’t have it. And when I asked if they will get it, he didn’t know.