This Is Your Brain on Drugs

Here is a massive collaboration of older posts about drugs.

Do you ever see those gay fucking anti-drug commercials? Take the classic one with the egg on a frying pan. So you’re brain is an egg and when you break it on the frying pan that’s your brain on drugs. Hmm, every time I smoke a joint my brain doesn’t just explode and make a nice omelet.

They are made by people who never tried marijuana or other drugs. I’ll admit I don’t need to try heroine to know not to try it. But these ads against drugs don’t work, like how those smoking warnings on packs don’t work. I’ve seen a guy on a pack that breaths through a hole in his neck. And I’ve tried talking to a robot. But if you really want to drive the message home than be honest and impartial. Have a meth addict warn you about the dangers of drugs.

Look, drugs aren’t cool. Except green or the occasional hallucinogen like shrooms or acid. Meth is probably the worst drug there is. It’s made by household products and it stays in your system. Have you seen people on meth? I’ve seen this fucked up girl with no teeth on the bus. She was wearing slutty clothes and fish nets and her ass was hanging out. Eww. Soon they have these scabs and sagging faces. And you spend all night and day awake. But I’m sure it’s fun.

And pretty much any other drugs like crack or PCP aren’t too good either. Narcs, officers and anti-drug legislation don’t do much against the fight against drugs. But you know what; in Amsterdam all drugs are legal. Yet drugs aren’t rampant and out of a control. There are actually less drug users. They provide needles and other items for addicts. And the drugs are saver and cleaner. You won’t see too many kids cooking meth, sniffing glue or huffing gas.

Teenagers will always look for anything to get high. Such as doing the chocking game where they get high by cutting off oxygen to the brain. This is why pot should be legal. It’s much safer and healthy. Lords knows, the government doesn’t want to endanger these teens with pot.

Earlier my family was watching a show and the topic of marijuana came up. And my mom said one of the funniest things I heard. My mom said if weed were legal she “might” try it. I knew it. It was funny at first but it got me pissed off when I thought of it longer and is the basis of this blog.

My mom has insomnia and trouble sleeping. She has sleeping pills but they still don’t give her a full night’s rest and she is always tired. And I’m thinking that maybe if my mom tried weed it would help her relax and sleep. But my mom is stubborn about breaking the law. Just because some drug is legal, it doesn’t mean its right. And if some drug is illegal doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

However my mom disapproves my smoking “weed” for that very reason. By the way she’s hip and she calls it “weed.” I don’t sell it and I only buy drugs from a friend. I wouldn’t’ have to smoke behind the church if she would let my smoke in my room. She knows when I’m in Florida I don’t do anything. And I don’t miss or crave it. But it would be cool smoking a joint on a sunny day in the hot tub.

My mom was doing spring cleaning which meant she could use it as an excuse to snoop around and search my room and go through all of my stuff. Well she found some bags and one of my old pipes. I told her I use bags for non-drug related reasons and I haven’t used that pipe in years.

She asked if I have any of it in the house and I promised her there is nothing in the house. It’s actually in the garage.  In a Tupperware container. I find Tupperware keeps it fresher than in a bag. So I lied to her and told her I don’t touch that stuff anymore.

I hate how this is a free country and yet something as harmless as pot is illegal. I’m not talking about heroine here. And yet the two of the dumbest drugs, alcohol and tobacco, remain legal. I much rather be a pothead than an alcoholic any day. And I hate feeling like a criminal or bad person because I like to get high.

First let’s talk about cigarettes. They are one of the stupidest drugs there is. I have never tried nor will I ever try smoking. My brother smokes and he and his friends told me not to. But I wouldn’t anyway. I mean whoever doesn’t regret trying it. “I’m glad I tried smoking. What would life be without my cigarettes?”

They’re highly addictive, almost as addictive as heroine. I see kids at a high school smoking in rain or smoking when it’s freezing outside. It’s a social thing. Again I don’t know what it feels like or if you can get high from cigarettes.

They’re extremely harmful. There are actually over 200 chemicals in them. You have a much greater chance of getting cancer and other problems. This is why smoking isn’t cool when you’re dying of lung cancer. I have even seen nurses smoking when they should know better.

What I don’t get is why in this day and age kids start smoking in the first place? Perhaps instead of making commercials against drugs they should concentrate with anti-smoking commercials. Show what happens by smoking and have some people tell you why it’s so bad.

My mom has a friend who has smoked her whole life. And you can tell from her voice and wrinkled skim. First off she is on a fixed income and spends $50 a week on smokes. I’m serious, $50. She’s very religious and for whatever stupid reason she gave up meat for God. Fuck what vegetarians think, she needs meat for protein. She is wasting away. And me and my mom asked her to give up smokes for God but she needs them that badly.

A year ago she went to the hospital because she was coughing up blood. The doctor told her numerous times that her smoking is the cause and that blood vessels have broke. But she wanted more tests to be done and costs the hospital a ton of money. That’s a problem with free healthcare; people take advantage of it.

And just the other day she got her teeth removed and she now has dentures.  But you know what, cigarettes are legal and it’s your choice to do them. I couldn’t give a shit about other peoples’ health. Unless they’re on the lung transplant waiting list and are ahead of people who didn’t ruin their lungs by smoking. And with all of these people that have smoked their whole life, smokes will remain legal. And I think that should stay that way.

Then there is booze. I’m a huge beer drinker but alcohol is another stupid drug. Being drunk leads to all sorts of dumb behavior; especially drunk driving or having sex with the fat chick. But look at prohibition, crime actually went up and led to boot legging. People like drinking. And it’s physically addictive and you can even die from withdraws.

I myself am a huge caffeine fiend. I have always loved pop. Any flavor of pop. And I still do. It tastes great and if you drink four cans a night you can get wired. Now I have become a huge coffee nut. I tried coffee in my first year in college. I was trying to stay awake to study for an exam so I thought what the fuck I’ll try it. It tasted like shit but wow it gave me energy. I was hooked from that day on.

I spend almost every morning going to Tim Horton’s and getting a donut and an XL double, double. They know me now; in fact I’m sending their kids to college. If I do go every day, and with coffee being at $2 per cup, I’m spending well over $600 on coffee alone for a year.  And my mom says I could have just made instant coffee. But I tell her its part of the journey to Tim Horton’s. And then she buys half caffeinated coffee that pretty much defeats the purpose. Thanks mom I will now have to drink two cups.

Now I’ve become hooked on energy drinks. Fuck Redbull, I get my energy drinks for a dollar at Dollarama. Wow they keep you awake for hours. Hours that I spend playing video games and writing these very blogs.

My friends say I shouldn’t drink so many energy drinks or else I’m going to have a heart attack. I mean what are the regulations of energy drinks? Can they put as much caffeine and other chemicals as they want? But fuck it, I live fast and I die young. Who wants to be 80 anyway?

So it’s no surprise that I love my marijuana. It’s a miraculous drug that has so many health benefits. If I have to choose between beer or weed; I go with weed. It’s the only drug you need. I just realized I rhymed there. But why take other drugs like cocaine or morphine when you have weed? Unlike beer or smokes you don’t become physically addicted. Unless you’re a huge pothead you might need it to help you sleep.

The only addictive part is because it’s fun. Just like how World of Warcraft is addictive. I never get the shakes or withdraw when I’m not playing. “I wish I never tried WOW. I tried cold turkey but I can’t stand it. I’m weak. So I’m trying to wean myself off a few hours each day.”

So why does the government have to protect us against the scourge of marijuana? What’s the worse that could happen? Uh oh it makes people giggle, eat cookie dough and watch Pete’s Dragon over and over again. My God have mercy on their souls.

The only negative effects are that if you smoke too much it’s not good for your lungs or memory. I have never puked or get sick when I’m smoking weed alone. People say they get paranoid if they smoke too much, but I think that’s part of the fun. If I get too high I just fall asleep.

I have yet to see a pothead on the show Intervention. Making it illegal doesn’t prevent usage; people will find a way. It’s like supply and demand. Making it legal would eliminate the criminal behavior and free up the jails for real crimes. And the government would save money they spend on enforcing these laws against pot. They would actually turn a profit for distributing pot at a Weed Store. People thinks is bad because our government says it’s bad.

So for those who never experienced marijuana, I suggest you try it out. You won’t go crazy or anything. It feels good, time seems to slow down and it is trippy. Its like a temporary shift of the mind. On one hand being high makes you stupid but on the other hand it makes you creative and enlightened. I like listening to Radio Head when I’m high and looking at the stars.

Everything is funny. I laughed my ass off when I watched Bewitched. Then I watched it again sober and realized what a shitty movie that was. You get what’s called the munchies. That’s one of the reasons why I gained so much weight years ago by eating so much damn Cinnamon Toast Crunch. But when I’m high I don’t give a shit about my weight.

And the dumbest anti-weed argument is that it leads to other things. That’s not a good reason because then anything leads to anything. Its like saying drinking pop leads to drinking beer so you shouldn’t drink pop altogether. And I’m pretty sure every crackhead has tried weed first. So anyway go out and rent Half Baked and see all of the commotion about marijuana. Now I’m going to eat some pussy for pot money.