Trekkies: Part Two

Trekkies are not only fans; they are obsessed with Star Trek. It is there way of living. They know all of the episodes by heart. They wear Klingon masks and speak Klingon. I find it funny that some lonely guy actually wrote a Klingon dictionary. Kkaplath! They have their own make believe ship with rankings. They go to expos and won’t leave poor Leonard Nemoy alone. And they would buy a glove worn by a Borg for $300 off of EBay.

Voyager was a pretty good idea and had some potential. The premise is that the ship Voyager got somehow warped to the far reaches of the universe and are pretty much “Lost in Space” ha-ha, minus an annoying robot. It stars a lady as the captain this time around. Feminist everywhere cheer. Wow is Kathryn Janeway is hot! Too bad I think she is a lesbian. Which is hot too!

So they are trying to get back to Earth. and find many of adventures along the way. The problem is that they are essentially the only humans wherever they fuck they are. Good thing they have a holodeck or else everyone would die of boredom and get on each others nerves. Hey I reserved a holodeck meeting with my holodeck girl friend at 12:00!

Everyone would be all over Kathryn and she’d be like who’s your captain. So whenever the writers run low on ideas they have all of these interoffice romances.  Seven of Nine was the hot borg chick. Smoking hot! I’d let her assimilate me any time.

And why was Deep Space Nine created? In other Star Treks they travel and explore the universe. They come upon strange planets and creatures. They have enemies that they fight along the way. In Deep Space they wait for the adventures to come to them. Nothing exciting really happens; Deep Space is almost a soap opera for Trekkies. That way your girl friend will watch it too. If you had one.

I don’t even know the cast of characters. Is the black guy the president of the station?

I think Whoopi Goldberg is in there too. And I know there are the ugly ferengi like Quark. Ferengi are like the Jews of Outer Space. They are all about business and the almighty dollar. They have huge ears that they could hear someone across the station and eavesdrop on hot chicks at the bar. However they are hideous. Imagine waking up every morning and looking at your disgusting face. I’ve seen burn victims better looking. And it must be a bitch cleaning your gigantic ears and cutting your ear hair.