Movies About Retarded People

Movies About Special People

Movies about retards can be uneasy or retardely funny depending on your sense of taste and humor. To me, being pure evil, I think retards are a hilarious joke by God. However no matter how good an actor is, they can never deliver as a retarded performance then an actor with Down syndrome. And that’s why I think corky is pissed off that non retards are playing retards in movies.

If you want me to be politically correct, replace all mean words like retard to special person. But it pretty much means the same thing, I mean if you call someone special is the same as calling someone a homo instead of fag, they both hurt. But as we all know, all special people are simple people with big hearts. Anyway I reviewed three movies about special people in order of special to very special.

Part One: Forrest Gump

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except turtles; they are all pretty much the same. But you never know what you’re going to get. Unless there is a label inside the box that tells you what each chocolate is. I hope so because I hate getting ones with cherries or coconut.

I’m sure everyone has seen it, but fuck you; I’m going to review it anyway. Tom Hanks is Forrest Gump in the Academy Awards winner, uh, Forrest Gump. Forrest isn’t exactly a special person, just very, very slow, so yeah, I guess he basically is. I’ve taken I.Q. test and uh I failed.

I love this movie and it proves that even special people can accomplish a lot in their special lives. It starts off with Forrest on a bench telling random people his life story, and what a story. I was at a bus stop and the some angry man told me to fuck off and that he doesn’t give a shit if I worked at Little Caesars or beat Zelda 2: Link’s Adventure.

Forrest is born and raised in good old Alabama. Sweet Home Alabama. His mom turns to out to be a hoar as she has sex with the principal so Forrest can get a normal education. He meets the girl he loves Jenny on the bus. Jenny the slut faces her own demons from her abusive father to her own drug use.

Forrest has lived an interesting life. He played college football because he can run fast. I’m sure in the locker room the coach is showing them plays, he just tells Forrest to run and catch the ball.

Afterwards Forrest enlists in the army and is sent to Vietnam where he meets Bubba. Bubba is also special and asks Forrest to join him and catch shrimp after the war. Bubba loves shrimp and he has like a thousand recipes. The last ones were like “shrimp daiquiris, shrimpburgers, shrimp icecream and uh that’s it.

So out of nowhere Charlie ambushes them and Forrest ends up rescuing most of his injured comrades including Bubba. Spoiler; Bubba dies. He also saved Lt. Dan who later has his legs amputated. Forrest got shot in the buttock and that’s the best way to get injured unless it hurts every time you take a shit.

He learns to play pin pong and becomes a pro. I had my own ping pong table and ping pong kicks ass. So Forrest becomes a shrimp boat captain and Lt. Dan makes his promise and becomes Forrest’s first mate. After a hurricane that destroyed all other ships, they hit the shrimp jackpot. Forrest, L.T. Dan and Bubba’s family are now all rich and Forrest has stocks in Apple.

So he tells Jenny that he isn’t a smart man, duh, but he knows what loves is. She basically told him that he doesn’t know what love is. I want to know what love is. I know I love my Nintendo. So he fucks her without any protection and she just leaves without saying if he was any good.  So he decides to go running across the States and starts a following of other runners. Until he tells them that he’s tired and took a cab home.

So he finishes his life’s story to an old lady at the bus stop. He could have easily afforded a taxi, limousine or even a helicopter to Jenny’s place. The old lady tells him that Jen lives down the block. But it wouldn’t have made such a good movie if he never had anyone to tell it about it. But I won’t ruin the ending. Its great movie, with a great soundtrack, I give it a perfect 10!