Casino Royal

As you should know I love gambling and Texas Holdem. But I hardly go to the Point Edward casino anymore. I stopped going after I put my keys to the Fiero on the table because I had a full house and then lost to a bigger full house.

BINGO! There used to be a ton of bingo halls where you can see the billowing smoke. I think three quarters of the bingo players have lung cancer now. Ever since the whole no smoking bans they lost most of their business. I guess it’s not as fun checking off numbers without smoking.

And the race track is closing now too because the casino has taken over. I made a five dollar bet on the top horse to place. My horse won but I only made like fifty cents. I’m thinking of buying my own race horse that I will call Stampede. I do love watching jockeys because they are so tiny. Haha. One of the funniest things I have ever seen on T.V. was a fight between jockeys.

So the casino is where the action is. I’d play more poker there but I’m on a tight budget. The thing is, play how much you are willing to lose and never try the whole win back your money. The cheapest blinds are one and two dollars but there is a lot of raising. Especially preflop. However you do get the best odds and it takes actual skill. You have to play your cards right and you should tip the dealer for karma.

Obviously there is a lot of security and cameras. Does the security pay attention or are there cameras watching them and cameras watching them watching them? For example when you play black jack you tap the table instead of saying hit me or stay.

I used to play black jack and like Rainman I’m an idiot savant and can count cards. But they kicked me out. And now I’m just an idiot. People are really superstitious. I always hear oh it’s a cold dealer or oh you took my card. The thing is that the odds are against you and you will eventually lose.

Craps are really tough for me. And the game craps is confusing. Haha craps. I have no clue how it works but I think you roll the dice and you want a seven and not snake eyes. What I’m curious is what happens if the dice fall off the table. Do you do a do over? They should have that bubble thing from Trouble.

There is always a super hot chick that is impressed by how much money you are betting. I think they hire her. So I’m betting big time and letting her blow on the dice but when I got snake eyes she leaves me and I ask if I will see her again.

Slots are huge for old ladies that enjoy sitting there all day pressing buttons. They don’t even have handles anymore. Too bad there are no more cheap drinks that you get when you play nickel slots. If anything the drinks are expensive. In the end you are going to lose to the house; that’s how casinos make money. However I would play slots if it was just like in Super Mario 2. And do you get a basket or what when you hit Jackpot.

Some people are incredibly stupid. Roulette has great odds but just because it landed on black ten times in a row, it doesn’t have to be red. These aren’t balls, it will always be the same odds before hand or else the casino would lose money. I saw this one idiot with a sheet that casino hands out so he check off which numbers have been hit. Seriously come on.