(Child) Where do babies come from?
(Mom) Well son, you see a stork brings a baby, like you, over to us parents.
(Child) So where does a stork grab a baby in the first place?
(Mom) Well the storks get babies from, umm, umm “Baby Island
(Child) Where’s the fuck is that?
(Dad) Hey, none of that freaking language! I don’t tolerate that shit!
(Child) I never seen a stork with a baby before, so does the stork just meet you at the
front door hands the baby over?
(Mom) Umm, well, honey, help me.
(Dad) There’s no fooling you Anakin. You see, a man has a “special pole.”
(Child) Yes I know, Uncle Ed told me all about my “special pole.”
(Dad) Haha crazy Uncle Ed, you see he’s what we refer to a “pedophile.” Oh Ed you
child molester.
(Child) What’s that?
(Dad) You’ll find out when you’re old enough and it becomes an emotional scar.
Anyhoo, man has a “pole” and a woman has a “hole,”
(Child) A “hole?”
(Dad) Ah, I mean a “pussy”
(Child) And then what?
(Dad) Well when a man becomes “aroused” his “pole” gets larger and then he sticks the
“pole” into a woman’s “pussy” and moves in and out of said “pussy.”
(Child) Yes I remember when I accidentally came in your bedroom. Um, so where do
babies come from?
(Mom) I’ll take it. Well you see when a man reaches “climax” his “pole” sends out
“tadpoles” into a woman’s “egg.”
(Child) So I hatched out of an egg?
(Mom) Yes but it’s inside a woman’s body. Every month a woman has a “period” and
becomes a “bitch” for a few days. If that point of time, sometimes a man’s
“tadpoles “fertilizes” an egg it becomes a “fetus” and then after nine months a
baby comes out of a woman’s “hole.”
(Child) What happens if parents don’t want any children because I recall Uncle Ted
saying he wish he didn’t have any?
(Mom) Oh for fuck sakes.
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