Top Ten Things I Don’t Understand About Other Guys

So I already wrote Top Ten Things I Don’t Understand About Women. I’m not trying to pick on just the women, so here is one for the girls. I’m bit metro and sometimes I don’t understand why guys act like they do. So here are ten things I don’t understand about other guys. And I’m not trying to come off sounding gay.

(10) Why are men so obsessed with cars? I’ll admit I like checking out nice sports cars and I always wanted a Delorean. But for me it’s just a way of getting around from point A to point B. I could less if the car is a souped up with a spoiler, stripes and adamantium rims. I mean my dad bought a Jaguar and I’m thinking is it worth it just to look cool. I rather spend it on other things like a super big screen T.V. or segway or a lifetime of Big Macs.

(9) There are guys who need trucks for work so they can haul equipment and tools. They may need them to drive in bad weather or go off road. Then there are guys who get trucks because it’s manly and cool. Why? It cost more for gas and it is a bitch to park. And they can barely fit three people, unless they drive in the back. “I can’t get the fuck out the back seat. Someone help me.”

(8) I love music but I don’t understand why guys have huge subwoofers instead of trunk space in their car. I don’t know why its cool to listen to loud music and fuck up your hearing? I’ll hear Slipknot or whatever shitty band three blocks away. “Hey man, are we cool or what?” “What?” “I said are we cool or what.” “What?” “Yo I said were cool.” “Yea she’s hot.”

(7) Why do guys like stupid action movies? As a kid I loved them, not so anymore. I much rather watch a drama than Steven Seagull any day. But my dad and any guy I know loves them. I’m just tired of movies like Tomb Raider or ones with no plot. And I’m tired of the whole jumping out of the way of an explosion. However I do like movies with action like James Bond, Apocalypse Now or Brave Heart. Do you see the difference?

(6) Why do guys never ask for directions?  I always asks for directions from the Kwiki or the gas station. Still I am pretty shitty at taking them and forgetting where to go.

I don’t know why they are so reluctant? Is it unmasclunie or do they enjoy a good search and adventure? You might spend like an hour going in circles. Of course now people have GPSs and I still get lost. My dad calls his the bitch because she nags a lot. “Turn here,” “Yes you already told us bitch.”

(5) Why are guys such assholes to women? And why do women take that shit? At hockey or at poker I always hear guys complaining about their wives or making bad jokes. They won’t watch a movie with their girl nor would they ever cook or clean. Except for the barbeque. It’s the only time a guy will cook and wear an apron. Maybe with “number one dad.”

(4) Why do most guys dread shopping, especially with their lady friends? I love clothes. It’s hard for me to look so damn good. I’m better at shopping alone and on foot. When I’m with my friends they get pissed off with me taking forever to try on clothes or going through all of the movies. Everywhere I go, I see guys wearing old ratty clothes or those stupid shirts with stupid pick up lines. For example I now I see guys wearing hats with the rim upwards and they don’t take off the damn sticker. I wear nicer clothes to work out or cut the lawn.

(3) And why are there guys who don’t wear shirts at all. Sure I have the body of a god but I don’t flaunt it. I see them walking down the street flexing their muscles. They’re getting sun burnt and look orange. I even see them in cold weather. I’m asking the girls, does that turn you on? I mean would you stop the car get out and start flirting with him? “Hey stud, I see you have a six pack and a tattoo of a tiger, do you want to come home with me?” “Suck me beautiful.”

(1) If that isn’t bad, I don’t understand why guys are in their cars yelling at girls or trying to make fun of people. They will yell something like “you’re totally hot” and since they are going so damn fast the girl won’t understand them. If they do, what do they expect? “Slow down you guys, I want to suck all of your cocks!” However if chicks say that I’m hot or something, that’s awesome.