Get to Know Greg

Here is the Top 25 things that you might or might not know about me.

(1) I ask stupid questions that I should know the answer.  Like when’s Oktoberfest or what’s popcorn made of? Or do you get summer off? (an inside joke at my expense.).

(2) I’m naturally spaced out and people think I’m much bigger pothead than I really am.

(3) I have a bad case of shaking hands. I drop stuff all the time for no apparent reason. My fingers just let go.

(4) I play a lot of Texas holdem poker.  Yet I can’t count my chips, deal or shuffle (the shaking hands) and I always play out of turn. (On account of being spaced out).

(5) People never know if I’m joking or being honest. I’m that good of an actor. Take Golden Girls. Am I a huge fan or am I being sarcastic and think it’s a stupid show with old hags that have ugly sex?  Who knows?  I don’t even know.

(6) I drink huge amounts of coffee the equivalent of three lines of coke.

(7) My two favorite cartoon shows are Family Guy and South Park.  Too bad I can’t watch South Park on Comedy Central anymore. The Towlie episode being the best.

(8) My three favorite comedians are Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy and Dane Cook.

(9) There was a time when I once watched the Simpsons.  But they turned on me and kept having sketchy episodes such as one about Bumble Bee Man or Moe finding yet another girl friend.

(10) I sleep at least ten hours a night and about 3 hours worth of naps.  That means I sleep more than being awake.  Unless of course I’m really into a Zelda game or there is a late night Golden Girl marathon.

(11) Puppets scare me. I always thought those dressed up dolls would come alive and kill me in my sleep. And I never watched Mr. Rogers because I was so frightened by them. I was a Mr. Dress Up fan.

(12) I have a huge fetish for Japanese women wearing those school girl uniforms. And I also like huge boobs.

(13) My favorite toys were Lego. Me and my bro would build these vehicles and then smash them against each other until one can’t move anymore and you have a winner.

(14) My favorite movie is Austin Powers.  And my favorite scene is when Will Farrell falls into that pit of fire.  It makes me laugh every time I see it.

(15) My favorite child hood movies were Goonies, Teen Wolf, Ghost Busters, Back To The Future and the Star Wars trilogy.  I would watch the Goonies every week. I must have seen Goonies like a infinity times.

(16) I never learned how to roll a joint.  I even practiced with lettuce. Good thing I have a metal pipe.  I have gone through so many glass pipes, including a $70 glow in the dark pipe that I thought I would have forever.

(17) I only drink beer. I have so many bad times drinking liquor, especially vodka.  I will only do Jager bombs with the guys or to catch up. My favorite beer is Kokanee, the BC beer brewed in Ontario. But I usually drink Laker; a cheap but decent beer.

(18) My favorite Pokemon is Alakazam with his confusion spell. It’s the only pokemon you will ever need.

(19) I used to be about 85bls in grade nine.  And I went as high as 215bls a some years ago. Now I’m down to 170bls.

(20) My favorite food is are Big Macs or Mozzaburgers. Runners up are Enzoe’s Pizza and Subway’s Pizza Sub.

(21) I love shopping.  I like to look good and I like to accumulate clothes much like a stamp collection.  I usually get skater clothes and my favorite store is Winners.  In fact I have over 25 T-shirts and counting. And I have accumulated about thirty DS games and at about $25 that’s a lot of Big Macs or Mazzaburgers.

(22) I love playing hockey, and I play defense because I get more ice time.

(23) I went to Western University for three years and loved the social life and credit card to buy video games, Big Macs and beer. I took Pscych although my favorite but most useless course was philosophy.

(24) And of course I love video games.  We had the original Atari and I learned to play Pac Man and Quepert (ha Queerbert) before I could ride a bike.

(25) My favorite game is without a doubt is Mario Kart 64 hands down. Toad being my favorite driver and Kupa Beach my favorite track.

(26) Now I live in my parent’s basement where I get stoned, eat Big Macs and play Mario Kart 64. I’m doing what I call a reverse retirement.  So I get a $50 allowance which I spend on coffee, Big Macs, beer, weed, T-shirts. I watch South Park and write massive blogs for a few but cult following fans.