Catnip

I love cats and have been asking for one forever. My parents are finally considering getting me one since I have nothing to do but play video games and poker. I promise I will feed it, clean it and give it all of my love. The only thing stopping me getting one is that my mom is worried about allergies and hair all over the place. But they’re much easier to take care of than dogs. And we could easily bring it to Florida.  It would definitely keep me company in the basement during those lonesome times. I just hope to not get one of those snooty ones that don’t like you and just sit there licking themselves. I think I’d get a male cat because female cats get all slutty and annoying when they are in heat. I’d choose a milk cat; black and white or maybe beige and white. His name would be Ted. Ha-ha a cat named Ted. Or maybe Kitty from South Park or Meowth from Pokemon. Or maybe I should look up baby names for kittens. I would smoke some weed while Kitty does some catnip. And use my laser pointer to entertain Kitty for hours. Do cats do tricks? I’d teach him to bring me chips and the phone. What I’m not sure is whether I will let him out the house. Maybe because something could happen or it runs away. I don’t know how I could handle that rejection. It’s sad I recently I saw a lost cat sign near my house. And my uncle brought in some cat from the streets they called Gimpy because one of its foot was messed up. But was it the nicest cat ever and liked to get petted. And I have heard of cat aids which at first scared the shit out of me before I was told it was not contagious to humans. No Kitty that's my pot pie!