Pokerific

I love poker. I play in a league called WPT. The cool part is that it’s free and you could win fabulous prizes. I usually play on Monday and Tuesdays at the Rack N Roll pool hall and bar. The bar lets us play there and in turn we buy food and drinks to support the league. If you do well you earn points and go on to further venues. We know a couple of people who have won prizes such as a big screen television or have gone on to Vegas with like a $2000 buy in.

I made enough points to go on to the regionals. There were over 300 players and only the top 50 get in. Everyone at my table was nice and so we were down to 100 players and my whole table agreed to play as slowly as possible. I literally spent like 7 minutes deciding what to do. And I fold. One dude had like three chips and got in just by a hair.  So I already made it to nationals and kept going all in. I just got stupid luck and normally people would get pissed off with me. And guess what. I made it to the top twenty baby. So I made it to the nationals but never went. I could get a way down there but I had nowhere to stay in Toronto. Oh poo.

Have you ever seen Rounders with Matt Damon and Edward Norton? Awesome movie about poker. Matt loses all his money and quits poker. Well his friend gets out of jail and has a bounty over his head. So they team up and must win $10000 (or some number) in a couple of days to pay off his debt. Anyway Damon’s character says if you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.

Knowing your opponents is a huge thing. You have to study them for tells. My own tells are that my hands start shaking with a good hand or I take a while to count to see if I have a straight. One time I went all in thinking I got a straight. So the guy says trip tens and so I’m all confident; I’m sorry I have a straight! Yeah! Greg you’re missing a nine. Oh poo. There are a lot of players who we call donkeys. These are the players who bet a lot of chips with absolutely nothing. I’ve lost to a two seven off suit before. Which is the worst hand possible, and he ended up with a triple twos. Then there are people who always go all in before the flop. I hate them, they ruin the game. They would never pull that shit with their own money. Or so I thought. I heard that retard boy lost $300 in one night. Ha-ha. That’s a lot of money for a bus boy. There are others who try to buy the pot and scare everyone away. It’s hard to tell especially for someone that is unpredictable. Anyway, you have to be patient and wait for a decent hand and take these types of players.  Personally I play conservative and don’t give my chips away. However, I have to bluff every once in a while because nobody would call me. Oh shit Greg has got the Ace Everybody folds. And being a bully is super fun. The problem is that with tall stack is that you get sloppy and bleed chips.

Here are some tips. I’m a grinder; I wait for a decent hand. The more chips I start off with the better. Obviously you want to get the most out of a good hand. But some people are idiots. They will bet big preflop and scare everyone away. I’ve seen this so many times. They have like pocket kings and they ruin it and get just the blinds. You have to trap the other players. Bet small and make them make an investment so they will go further. Then bet increasingly more. This scenario has happened to me many of times. I go fishing or start checking. My opponent picks up on this and thinks he missed his hand. Sometimes you have to cut your loses and fold. Every time I get pocket aces I think I have the best hand. I would lose to two pairs or flush and I should have folded. If you see three card suited you have to think one of the other players has it. Also the less people the more the valuable your cards become. What I mean is that if there are three players left, I will play a hand that I would normally fold had we have a full table.

Getting angry is so stupid. You look like the Tasmanian devil. There are these three spazs that get all worked up every time they lose.  He had only a jack ten. Fuck you guys. But that’s what all poker is about. This one dude just swiped the chips off the table and left. He won’t be back any time soon.  Another dude that looks like a rat, we call him stinky Steve gets way too excited. Yeah, yeah I won! He has no friends. I hate when people, including myself, fuck up the deal. You shouldn’t look, but I can’t resist and I had pocket aces more the once. The best hand I had is quad aces; but I have seen royal flushes. I also like messing with people’s minds. I know you want that club. How many clubs are there? Do you feel lucky? Go ahead bet more, I’m not afraid. Maybe I have a good hand, maybe I don’t. Who  knows? Win or lose WPT is all about people getting together, drinking some beers and conversing and having a good time.