The Quest for Coffee

Well I had an adventure today. Whenever my mom is out I like to get stoned and have a quest. For example, yesterday I went swimming at Murphy Beach. But it’s not as good as Canatara Beach. It’s small and there are tons of rocks. Barely any hot chicks. And the people who live beside the beach hate everyone. But I didn’t feel like walking to Canatara. So my quest was to swim far into the lake swim along the beach. I swam pretty far and it started to get scary. Thank God for sand bars.

So I got stoned and my mission today was to get a slushy at Macs. Just as I was leaving my mom was bringing in groceries. Sweet Honey Combs. But where’s the Lucky Charms? They weren’t on sale honey. I hate you. (I said inside my mind). Then she asked me to water the plants. Fine. So I turn on the hose and was going to water the flowers on our front porch and splash I get the door and our mail box wet. Whoops. So I water the rest but I wasn’t sure how much. So I think I over watered and killed the flowers. Rest of assure my mom said they’re fine.

So I grab my Ipod and I can barely hear it. I raise the volume to the highest and nothing. I start turning off and pressing buttons. Finally I realize my ear phones were not in my ears.

Anyway I walked to Macs. Once there I had a change of heart and just left Macs. The thing about variety stores they don’t give a shit if you’re high. I’m sure the clerks are probably high too. Except the clerk at Daisy Mart. He actually counted out my five cent candies. I would go to the other store, they’re nice to me. But the five cent candies are now seven cents!

Anyway I decided to get an XL double double coffee. I walk in and suddenly I see three cops. Normally I’d laugh. It was so cliché. But no I was really baked. Calm down Greg, just order and leave. You want a double double XL coffee. I get up there. Umm, hmm, umm can I have a coffee please? What size? The largest. And can I have cream and milk? Then I had to count. Just give her the twenty and let her do the math. So I get my change

and was about to walk off without my coffee. One of the cops looked at me. Whoops. I start shaking. So I’m done, what a relief. A damn fine coffee if I would say. But where is the garbage? They make in blend in so I hard to find. Uh oh it’s by the cops. Anyway I leave; mission accomplished. And I had a good chuckle.