Hockey is definitely my favorite thing to do. I would play every day if I could. Today we were shorthanded and I sounded like Darth Vader by the second period. Normally we fight over ice time. I call them ice hogs because they are on the ice for like six minutes. The funny thing is that the slower and fatter players stay on the most because they don’t skate and thus don’t get tired.
We have this new player and when I say new player I mean he has never ever played before. It’s almost like a power play every time he is on. He can’t skate, pass or shoot. He has the skill of a four year old. It’s called bullshit hockey because it’s non competitive and anyone can play. So we can’t bench like its basketball or soccer. The problem is I have a narrow field of vision and kept passing it to him by accident and give it away. But we all like him and he’s getting better.
He must have the longest name. You could barely fit it on his jersey or the game sheet. I don’t even know if he can write a check. Then there is this older but awesome dude with the name Razor. Its fucking sweet, I think it’s Germen. Of course I love my own last name, Merchant. Maybe I was a shop or pub owner way back in the day.
I can’t believe how injury prone I am. I think I should stretch more often. You see I fall down a lot for no apparent reason. Just today it was in our end with the puck at me feet and this dude is hacking away. I fall right on my ass. I was seeing stars for a good 30 seconds. The problem was that as I said earlier we were short players. So I took off my jersey and checked my elbow to see if it’s bleeding. All good except I was dizzy. But my team needed me and I go on without my jersey or elbow pad. I think I will give it another five minutes. Another time I fell and hurt my back. It didn’t hurt right away but the next week I was walking hunched over like some old grandpa.
This league is non competitive and doesn’t allow checking. Instead you have players hacking at you, holding your stick and shit that the referee won’t see. So I hate covering the guy in front of our net. They always hacking at our goalie to trying to get the puck. This isn’t NHL, it’s for fun, don’t hurt our goalie. I play defense for more ice time but there are there are two crucial things to worry about, whether to try to keep it in their end or skate back. Or whether to poke check a guy coming in our end or jockey him.
I used to be quite the hockey player back in grade school. Then they introduced checking. So I was about 100 pounds facing guys twice my size, literally. The last time I played in High School when I broke my leg. I know I already wrote about it but here’s it again. It was so quick but I think I was checking another player and awkwardly tripped on this bad angle. Snap! So I try to get up. Snap! I made it worse. So I’m taken to the dressing room and my dad is all don’t worry you just sprained your ankle. And I’m like its hurts. So my dad pull my skates and socks off and there it was my broken leg with a bone sticking out. It didn’t pierce the skin but it was nasty. And here is a funny side story when I had my cast on. Me and Stics were getting a ride by his mom. As I was getting into the back seat she starts to drive away with me hanging out the door. I always wonder if she did subliminally because I’m such a bag influence to her son. The whole act almost made up for all of the stupid things I have done.
I have these elaborate fantasies of being an NHL hockey goalie. I mean I get really really into them and all of the things I could do. My favorite team is the Montreal Canadian but I’d play on the Leafs because I don’t like Quebec Toronto because I love the big city and could afford a sweet place near Maple Leaf Gardens
No comments:
Post a Comment