Lord of the Flies

Remember reading the Lord of the Flies in high school? I was never much of a reader but I love movies. I mean if a picture is worth a thousands words than a movie must be like ten thoundsanrd words. So yeah I rented the movie but it was slightly different than the book. Either way I got a good mark.  

I also got a good mark doing a book report on the Hobbit in grade seven. So good I did the same book report in grade 9 and grade 11. Good thing my mom saves all of our assignments and the teachers don’t share grades with each other. I really loved the Hobbit, but I will save that for another time.

I also read a lot of Shakespeare in high school. Good thing we had to read William’s plays because I would never think of reading them outside of school.  Too bad sometimes I have no fucking clue what the characters are saying.

I really liked Caesars Pizza, I mean Julius Caesars. It’s cool play about betrayal and espionage. Being the emperor has to have its perks. He must get all of the poontang of from those hot Roman girls, some good pizza and endless supply of wine. However he must be paranoid as hell with everyone conspiring against him.

I’m the same way. I know the government wants me dead. They got my phones tapped and are putting truth serum in my Big Macs. Why are they against me you might ask? Because I’m actually Sasha Burinskevahasasasa. I’m a triple agent and have been writing this blog page as a cover and am secretly sending vital information to the Russian government. Why? I’d tell you. But then I would have to kill you.

Sometimes I get way off track and end up writing this completely random shit. While I went for a walk I got into thinking that they should do remake the Lord of the Flies movie. But I ended up writing about book reports and being a triple agent.

Greg Merchant of Venice was a good read. Too bad it was completely antisemitism. Shylock is like this evil greedy Jew that demands his loan payment from the poor Greg Merchant of Venice. When Merch can’t pay it, the Jew signs a contract saying he gets a pound of flesh from Merch. There is a loophole that the Jew can only take flesh and not any blood. Checkmate. And then the Jew’s hot daughter doesn’t want any of her suitors but only Greg Merchant of Venice. Yeah baby!

I never read Hamlet but once again I rented the movie. One of them actually starts Mel Gibson. I don’t remember much but what I do remember is that Hamlet is a big pussy and procrastinator. I think it was the play Hamlet with the famous line “to be, or not to be?” It’s true but way overused. To be living in my parent’s basement or not to be living in my parent’s basement, that is the question. And I too am a procrastinator. I have been thinking of writing a book about the bible and religion for years now but I get too bored and feel like playing Zelda instead.

I never read Romeo and Juliet in high school. But I think everyone knows the gist. She thinks he’s dead and she kills herself and then he finds that she’s dead because she thought he was dead and he kills himself. I did watch the movie Romeo and Juliet. It keeps the original lines but is set in present day. It stars some very hot chick and one of my favorite actors Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s talented and not a sellout. If he’s in a movie, than you know it should be good. Take some of my favorites like Titanic, the Beach and Basketball Diaries.

Back to Lord of the Flies. I realize shows like Lost and movies like Castaway have already done the whole stranded on an island thing. But I think there is still a niche for young children, without adults, that must form a society. Sure they already done it briefly in Thunderdome but I think we need a serious movie about human nature. I remember feeling so sad for Piggy, especially when he dies. But what would you think would happen in real life if a crowd of kids are actually marooned on a stranded island?