Useless Courses

I use to be intelligent. Then came high school and people are like what happened? Because of this my favorite courses were the useless ones where you don’t have to think, like art, drama, physical education and religion.

Phys-ed or gym class was loads of fun. The fat kids get dreary of getting picked skins. Especially when they have to run. Too bad it wasn’t coed. I would love that. When we played basketball you get the two captains to pick players. Now I use to be quite the athlete in elementary school. I played in a basketball league called Shamrock and that’s where I shined. But this was high school and people didn’t know me. And so I ended up getting picked almost last at gym. I think the kid with crutches and some dork were picked last. Few days later my captain tells me that I’m a really good player. Of course the teacher Mr. Taluse or Captain Douche had it in for me for whatever reason. He did this a couple of times. Hey, Greg I’m giving a lecture here stop talking. And I didn’t even say anything or make a sound. I would have said what the fuck except he probably would have me expelled.

Art was my favorite subject. I have always been a good drawer since Kindergarten. While most kids drew these balls with things sticking out, I drew something that actually looks like something. I loved drawing Nintendo characters like Yoshi or Mega Man villains. Being a huge fan of Star Wars I drew them as well. Especially Boba Fett, Darth Vader, the Millennium Falcon and Aunt Beru. I belong to the Dark Side, just letting you know. And I would help the girls by drawing stuff like a mean soccer ball. Then came high school and we started using good paint and not that shitty old school puck paint. We did everything, including paperchay (no clue how to spell it) where I made a hockey player with teeth missing and a black eye. We worked with clay and I did the bust of our former Prime Minister Jean Chretien with his droopy lips. Art was sociable; I think half the class was playing pokemon at the time. Yes I’ve caught Pikachu! What’s that Greg? Oh nothing.  I had to do a speech about Picasso. Everybody loved my speeches, not because I what I wrote but how I said it. My blogs are a lot funnier if you read how I would say it. You got to put emphases on Pikachu! So I made Picasso look like this huge homo because he slept in the same bed with his roommate and defiantly had some woman issues if you seen his work.

Religion had to be the most useless of them all. I know it’s a catholic school but we should have the option of not taking religion. This is how much I learned. Fuck all.

What a waste of time. We already heard how Jebus will save our lives or that Abraham saved every specie in the world from a flood. I think it would be much easier to build a monster bar with Coors Light to lure the people in. Then Abraham with a gun given by the good Lord would shoot them all. Of course one teacher, Mr. Man knew it was complete horse shit. In fact me and Aaron did a funny presentation in the class where I did the voice of Jebus. But Govieaha (I have no fucking clue how to spell it) did believe this shit. And he ends up cheating with another teacher’s wife. My cousin who is a huge evangelist did the same thing. I’m an atheist and even I wouldn’t do that just because of my morals.

I have always loved acting. I was part of the drama class in old school and of course I pretty much played myself. You have to be King Kenny Cool (I just realized my character’s name is one letter from the KKK) you’re the funny guy and such a goof. Years later my brother informed me that the word goof is a bad prison term that you should never call someone this. Drama was the easiest credit. We actually did breathing exercises. How can you fail? The only work was like two essays. I knew a lot of people in my class; it was a riot. I remember playing this old lady with Stics. I didn’t quite hit puberty yet and so I had this heavenly voice that sounded like a woman. Drama has also got to be the funniest subject to teach. I don’t know if our teacher is a drop out actress or just got lucky.

Good thing I excelled in these courses; it defiantly helped out my average. And yes I did graduate. As you can tell, English was my poorest subject. You have no idea how much I depend on spell check. I can barely write down a message for a phone call. Greg is this a seven or a one or is this an eight or a six. And who is this? Who is Sam? I forget.  I almost failed French. I don’t even know why we have to take it. You either do know or do not know French, there is no try. And so I made it to Western University, maybe because my Dad is an alumni and donates to the school. And then I dropped out and here I am, living in my parents’ basement.