What Does the Future Behold?

Ever notice that futuristic movies and shows predict we will have this super technology. Take the hovering cars in Back to the Future 2. Well it’s almost 2015 and I want my damn hovering car. In 2001 Space Odyssey we have colonized outer space and have thinking computers.  While the devices are big and clunky. I am afraid though that my Nintendo will gain awareness and try to kill me in my sleep.

The year is 6666 and man has finally hit the pinnacle of technology. We have everything we need to enjoy life and more. The world is a different place though.

Through stupid immigration laws and having way too many children the Chinese population has taken control over the world. The Chinese population is now 95%, while the rest of the population is 4%. Due to over population people over 75 years old have to be put asleep much like in Logan’s Run. Besides who wants to be 90 years old anyway?

Apple is the most successful company and is the leader in the latest technology. Apple has created the Ishrink, a device the size of a credit card that can expand twenty times its size.  Much like the Green Lantern ring you can do anything you want to do with it. Whether opening your hover car or flipping futureburgers. Everyone has them, including toddlers. With the Imask you can see anywhere through anything. Except tits, there is a parental lock on that.

We all have chips implanted in our brains at birth that are used for everything. For example we can catch criminals whether for grand theft shuttle or jay walking. And drunk driving has been eliminated. Or parents can monitor their kids even while sleeping. Removing the chip will result in permanent brain damage or even death.

The invention of matterizers has been a huge milestone in history. This machine manipulates matter into any substance you wish through isotopicalitic transformation. Every household needs at least one. Thanksgiving dinner is now just a push of a button. And giant matterizers that can use large amounts of matter to turn into certain other forms of matter. Such as transforming sand into oil for instance. But ha-ha oil, that ridiculous. That’s way before we discovered Jizerts.

People have become as lazy as ever. But thanks to a diet pill that actually works, and I mean actually works, people are a slim as ever and can eat Future Macs to their hearts content. With new procedures people can get an instant nose job or super hearing.

We can create body parts for everything. So poor little Billy will have a kidney and Halfy can grow new legs. And I can finally get my robot arms.

Robots do all of the work now. They can do anything a human can and more. We have four hour shifts now with an hour lunch break and it’s up to us to control these robots. This results in high employment rate and more time to watch 4D television. There are still occupations that we need to physically fill like a kindergarten teacher because robot teachers scare young children. And we still need people to run Mc Donald’s which are now serving a googolplex.

Just like A.I. we have hookerbots too. Some are specifically designed to look and feel like real people. Or even other freaky fetishes like centaurs. My favorite model is the late Jennifer Love Hewitt model. Teen pregnancy and masturbation have all but disappeared. The problem is that some robots have developed conscience awareness and believe they are real people. As a result the robots can go haywire and end up killing baby bunnies.

The world is similar to Star Trek. The holo decks are where the action is. The games range from peaceful Mario games where you can actually jump ten feet up onto turtles or break floating bricks for prizes. Then there are the ultra violent games such as Virtual Gladiator 3000 where you are sent into a coliseum and fight to the death. But don’t worry its all virtual and harmless to the human player.

We have outlawed teleportation because of complications where people have had their arms sticking out of their head or become a half human half horse creature. Unless of course you want to be a centaur.

Thanks to genetics, we have recreated extinct animals such as the whale, panda, dinosaurs or the mouse. We have also eliminated annoying creatures like the mosquito, the cockroach and Canadian geese.

We can also modify certain animals like dogs that can use the toilet or talking horses. However the kids are still wild over pokemon. We have created every pokemon including the pidgey or rattattas. Pikachu makes a great family pet that can use its electrical abilities incase the power goes off or your hovering car battery needs a boost.

After WW16, the world is peaceful. Except for the war in Iraq. The president of the United States is the first gay cross gendered Eskimo. Citizens still hold onto the constitution and believe they have the right to own a ray gun 3000. Quebec finally leaves Canada and now owes over a thrillion dollars to China.

We have finally colonized the entire Earth, including all of northern Canada. Eskimos still live on reserves. The moon and Mars have also been colonized. But not Venus that would be silly. We live in dense cities now. Such as Space Sarnia with a population of 16.3 million. The sky scarpers are as tall as ever and have gardens and forest on top of the roofs. And pollution is now all but eliminated and global warming was just a hoax all along. With the ecological invention of throwies, all garbage is turned into pretty flowers.

People have agreed upon wearing the same ultra futuristic sliver latex clothing with name tags. Baldness is cured but many men feel it’s still dignified. While women only need to take a pill that will remove all unwanted hair. Losing your eyebrows is a side effect.

Future-Mart has become the largest corporation and employer. Customers can buy virtually anything from hookerbots to the silver leotard clothing. While K-Mart has filed chapter 18 bankruptcy, again. Protesters frown upon robot sweat shops saying they are people too and Nike’s stock crashes as a result.

Hoverball has become the international sport on Earth. About 90% of all athletes are black. The other 9% are Chinese of course. Fans agreed that athletes should be able to use steroids or arcanzoids for more exciting games. The rookie G. Merchant card is worth a thousands nanos.

We have finally discovered a cure for every STD including Aids. Gay people around the world rejoice in having futuristic butt sex without getting the HIV and not have to rely on gaybots anymore.

The debate over legalization of marijuana is still going on, but it is in talks between politicians.