Liar LiarLiar

So there is this douche, John, at poker that nobody likes for several reasons. One is that he is an idiot that doesn’t know how to player. He just doesn’t understand the odds. Several times I hear him say oh I was one card away from a straight or oh I needed another spade. Dude if you have four spades by the turn and are hoping for another one than you have less than one in four chances of winning. However he gets lucky too and that pisses off people.

He also gets too excited when he wins. Way too excited. And it pisses off the other players. The only thing that I get too excited for is a twelve case of beer, ice cream and a new episode of South Park.

And he is a complete liar and a cheapskate. Every time we play pool he has no money or 50 cents. And he told me several times he pay for the next game tomorrow. Never happened. He also smokes weed with us but never has is own.

He also asked me to give him a ride back to his place so he can get more money. He said he’d buy me a beer. So we get back to the bar and he’s drinking rye and cokes I ask him about my beer and he’s say in a bit. Well I asked him three times and gave up. Normally I say fuck it, he can’t afford it but he was still drinking. So after that I would never say a word to him. Good thing he’s leaving town. Unless its one more of his lies.

So we were talking about this guy and one dude says don’t get me started. Apparently this guy was running a charity poker tournament for the Inn of the Good Shepard and needed prizes. John said he has a 40 inch television he was willing to donate. Well he has been trying to get a hold of John for over a month and John finally says he doesn’t have it anymore. So the poor guy had two weeks to get a first place prize.

This reminds of Dan Jones, a professional liar. He was complete bullshit all of the time. If he was Pinocchio his nose would be twelve feet and dragging on the ground.

One time he told us there is this huge barn party and he was going to give us directions. So we drove around searching for this allusive party. We couldn’t find it because there was no barn party.

He also came up with this story about a blind friend of his. He claimed to have gone to the movies with him and the blind friend says something like why would I go I can’t see anything anyway. He also said he was feeding his dog treats when you are not suppose to. You know what is creepy? There was no blind friend, just a stupid story that isn’t even funny.

He also steals a slew of other people’s jokes or stories and tries to make them his own. He told us one joke that supposedly happened to him. Well liar I also saw that joke on the comedy channel. Next time just say you heard of this joke from a comedian.

He also says he is making his own business a couple of times. One was as pretzel store. We all got sick of his lies and stopped being friends with him. Well he calls Stics out of the blue about one more of his business ventures and asked what kind or computers to get. Hey don’t make something up about computers and just say hey how’s it going, it’s been a while do you want to have drinks sometimes?

Of course once he’s drunk he becomes Don Quixote and starts making up shit. Such as he’s going on Space Shuttle and needs someone to take care of his baby panda while his in outer space working on a classified experiment that would change the world as we know it.