I was never a big fan of Super Man. I always thought he had too many powers, and they weren’t even clever or interesting. He’s got super strength, super speed, invulnerability and flight. With his speed he doesn’t need a car. But good thing he is invincible because he could slip on a banana going at high speeds and skin his knees. I mean how can he see anything by going 10000 km per hour? With super strength he loves to play baseball and kill anyone in the way of the ball. He has x-ray vision and often uses it in Small Ville because they can’t afford an x-ray machine. And he likes looking at tits. He has super hearing and likes to ease drop on chick’s conversations at bars. He has freezing breath which he gets from super trident gum.
The man has his true identity Clark Kent Clark , if I didn’t know any better I swear you look like Superman without those glasses. Really? I never even heard of that before. His lover is Louis Lame. But he has some girl friends on the side and with his powers he never gets caught cheating. By now with everyone having a cell phone he has to find other ways to get his costume on. I hear he changes behind a Mc Donald’s dumpster now.
Lex Luther is the super genius villain out to kill Superman. If he is so rich why doesn’t he get hair club for men or wear a hat? And as far as I know, Superman is only vulnerable to green kryptonite. For fuck sakes make a kryptonite heat seeking missile and finish him off.
There are more super characters including Super Slut who uses her hot body to stun and apprehend bad guys. She has super strength and gets very dangerous when it’s her period. And no normal man could handle her. And then there is Kyropto the dog. Yes, a fucking super hero dog. Does he do super tricks or something?
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