Starving Artist

I was at the art walk the other day. There were some cool paintings and some shitty ones that look like finger painting. I used to be quite the artist. In kindergarten I was on top of my game. I would draw people that actually looked like people. And not a round circle with arms and legs sticking out. I really liked drawing dinosaurs. My favorite, the badass of them all the T fucking Rex. Too bad I was incomprehensible (wow what a big word for me). Here, here is my dino, my dino, he big and he scary. Roar.

In elementary school I used to draw video game characters, like Yoshi or Mega Man villains. Here is Iceman; he has the power of uh freezing things. I would help other kids draw; especially soccer balls for some reason. I had all of the markers, like 40 of them. But I ran out of black and skin color. I wonder in Africa do they call black skin color and our skin color pink. The only problem with markers is that you get dizzy, and not in a good way.

Then in High School I took three art courses because it was a no brainier. Its fun; all you do is draw and play pokemon. Speaking of which, Alakazam with confusion is the best character, that’s all I used and maybe Charizard to help out. I made some pretty decent drawings. Do you ever try erasing something; it is a bitch. Come on guys I can’t erase the giant penis you assholes.

Then I took art and psychology at Western University. It was cool because my best work is when I’m baked. At first I thought drawing nude models would be hot. They weren’t. The ladies were so ugly. You’d think that ugly ladies wouldn’t want to be stared at and drawn. Teach I’m having problems drawing these saggin tits because she keeps moving. And can I borrow your B2 pencil for the bush. And I forgot that I’d have to draw dudes as well. I think most people can agree that the female body is beautiful while us men are hairy and bulky. So we had to draw men who were probably gay. I’m not like the guy from Super Bad, I don’t like drawing dicks. So I hoped class would end before I had to finish off his dick. Sometimes I would put a black block over it with a word censor or try to pixilate it. I passed with a 70% but gave up on art entirely because every student was a million times better and there’d be absolutely point at all to pursue it.