Me and my mom just got some Wednesday whoppers for $4. They were delicious. And then she prayed before she ate them. Lord thank you for this bounty you have bestowed upon us. We are blessed with these whoppers; one with no tomatoes and extra sauce. And she always wants me to say the prayer with her instead of eating my food already.
Do you really think HIM gives a fuck that we got Burger King today? He already knows everything. It likes someone telling me the plot of Scarface when I have already seen it a dozen times. Your welcome Greg’s mom, it was I who made those burgers through the Holy Spirit. Beginning with those farmers who cut down our rainforest to make way for cattle that get shipped to Sarnia
What happens if we don’t pray? Does the good Lord just take away my whopper? There I’m destroying your whopper you ungrateful son of a bitch. Hey where did my whopper go? It was the fat guy wasn’t it. It was my $4 that bought me those whoppers. And it was my parents’ jobs that gave me my allowance to get that $4 to pay for those whoppers.
Why do people pray to someone like God or Saint Greg? They never respond it. It’s like ordering whoppers from a burger king after they closed. Never in my childhood when I was still a believer did Jesus respond. Please God; I want superhero powers and a Nintendo. I never got my superhero powers, but I did get a Nintendo a year later. Ha I never specified when I wanted a Nintendo. You got me good Lord.
Then there are people who pray for anything, like asking to get a strike (which actually happened in Jesus Camp). Yes God doesn’t have hard time feeding all of these starving people, but hey HE will let you get a strike. Then there are pro athletes who pray to win. I’m sure it wouldn’t matter because both teams are praying to win and they cancel each other out. It would only work if they were against Greg and the Sarnia Atheists.
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