Happy Birthday To Me

Well it’s the best day of the year, my birthday. 25 years old where does the time go? I actually forget how old I am sometimes. So I have to think, I was born in 1982 and so if I subtract it from 2011 that mean, uh I need a calculator. I always thought I was like Peter Pan and be a child for the rest of my life. In fact I still use the phrase when I grow up I want to be a dentist. Funny side story, when I was kid and they asked what you want to be I said a robber.

I guess my relatives forgot is my big two five. Of course the only other person I know when is their birthday is Irving because it’s on ground hog day. I didn’t even get a card from my god parents. Usually I get something like happy bearday! With a bear wearing a party hat. And I’m like that’s cute but where’s the money you cheap bastards! For my parents birthday I used to make cards, which my mom loved. My dad wasn’t as thrilled.

I love having birthday parties as a kid. I would invite as many people as possible. Kids I didn’t even like. I just thought presents! Maybe it’s because my mom is so cheap and the only time I get toys is for my birthday and Christmas.

I love cake. I usually get mud cakes with gummy worms or vanilla frosting cake with sprinkles. I remember I used to eat the left over frosting. In fact a couple of years ago I got really really stoned and ate frosting out of the can. Not the smartest decision, I could have got diabetes.

I got the Wii! Again. I don’t know how it happened but I got the Xbox 360 and so my brother got the Wii. And he invested so much in that it’s his now. And my mom didn’t even rap it because I pretty much picked it out. Anyway in addition to a watch, a helicopter and a death ray, the Wii is the only thing wanted. I already have 100s of games and clothes. Because if I want something now I use my allowance to get it. There is one more Nintendo DS I want to get to complete my video game collection. Maybe if I didn’t drink so much beer and eat so many Big Macs for one week I could afford it. It’s called Radiant Historia and got good reviews if you have a DS and give a shit.

Anyway I’m going to get really drunk and maybe hit all of the bars and get free shots.  And eat all of the pizza pockets because it’s my big day and I can do what ever I want. Greg you puked pizza pockets all over the carpet. But hey it’s your birthday. I’ll clean it up. Happy Birthday. I love you.