The Trip Guide

My favorite movies are comedies. I love to laugh and can watch them numerous times. My favourite comedy is Austin Powers. But I also like Super Bad, Zoolander and Kids in the Hall Brain Candy, Doge Ball or Grandmas Boy to name a few. My favorite actors now are Will Farrell, Ben Stiller and Seth Rogan.

But I think Hollywood is running low on movie ideas. I think the only one’s left are Botchy Ball and Golden Girls the Rated R Movie, with a Betty White cameo. I mean look at how many stupid movies come out like Yogi Bear or Trade Center. Ha what a terrible actor, Nicholas Cage has gone bankrupt. But I notice that horror movies are making a comeback, like Saw 26.

The best horror movies are like the Shinning.  The are subtle but  psychologically scary and not just blood and guts. I mean less is more. For example, take the twin girls in the hall or the old lady in the tub. Or when she sees how messed up her husband is. Redrum. And it had the best ending in the maze. Or take the Sixth Sense. I actually jumped when you see the wife slitting her wrists or the kid with his head blown away. We were watching it at the my friends place and I came over ten minutes into the movie. So I had no idea what the twist would be. What an experience. I watched it again to see all of clues and such. But I would never watch it again, again just like watching Blare Witch Project a third time.

Anyway I think the Saw movies are disgusting, I don’t want to see that shit. It’s like seeing a dead deer. I feel bad for everyone and just want to choke the puppet thing and set it on fire. I rented the film Shrooms and it was a decent movie, but I thought it could be much better. You got the 80s classics like Nightmare on

Elm Street

or Jason that are now funnier than scary. I loved Scream but not the sequels. They should have started with a fresh cast and characters and not oh the murderer now is the best friend’s cousin’s pool boy’s teacher’s ex-husband.  Another recent one is room 1408. Of course horror movies are million times more intense on shrooms. By the way some good movies to see on shrooms are like Brave Heart, Star Wars, Willow (the midget village is hilarious), Space Odyssey 2001 and The Never Ending Story.

Or there is the doing the whole watching the Wizard of Oz to the Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon record. It’s crazy, every thing is synchronized or the lyrics are describing what’s going on in the movie. Like as soon as you hear the song Money, Dorothy is entering munchkin land and they are all dancing to it. Or the beating of the Tin’s Man’s heart. A side note is that the original dog Todo was stepped on and killed. That’s too bad. And the actor Judy Garland got royally messed up on speed and other drugs.

But imagine a movie that you are suppose to see on pot, shrooms or acid. I call it the Trip Guide and it would be a cult classic.  It would be Heavy Metal meets Robot Chicken. It would start off with warning saying not to use drugs. And then the there would be a lecture about hallucinogens you are taking until the drugs take affect. And warning the audience that they will all be going insane. It would have a central story that ties things together but have short clips like a Mentos commercial or one of those Family Guy’s bits. It would have trippy music videos like White Stripes Elephants Marching or a MNGM video. Some parts would funny or strange. Like seeing the world from an ant’s perspective or entering a cartoon world. And even Jebus breaking out of the cross and  killing the bad guys with his laser eyes. Some parts would fuck with you like the ending of the world and going to Hell segment. Or what would happen if China attacked us with atom bombs. Or seeing messed up nature videos like two lions fighting a rhino.